****START TEASER****


5.





4.




3.




2-





*boop*







***THIS SUMMER, ON A FANFIC SITE NEAR YOU.....***



"Oh god....!!!!!" 
"RUN!!! RUN!!!!!!" 



***....OR MAYBE SOONER.......***



"Guards. Find my daughter, and bring her to the Prayer Tower 
immediately. That's an order!" 



***AN EPIC OF AMAZING PROPORTIONS WILL SHOCK AND AWE YOU......***



"Why?! Why did you....how can you do this?!" 



***WHEN THE END OF THE WORLD APPROACHES.......*** 



"....You don't suppose that's a rain cloud, do ya?" 

"Mmm." The guard took up a pair of binoculars. "Let me look." 


With that, he held them up to his eyes, only to be met with two 
red eyes staring back at him, along with spears and swords poking 
out of the cloud. He gave a slight jump as he put his binoculars 
away and looked at his partner. 


"Um..." he gulped. "I think that's a big monster. In fact, I think 
it's that one the queen told us about." 

"Mmm-hmm." Priam drew his sword. "Well, at least now we'll get this 
whole killing and genocide business over with then, eh?" 



***AND BLOOD IS SPILLED.....*** 



"THROW HIM TO THE DOGS!!" 

"EAT HIS HEAAAART!!!" 

"LONG LIVE," almost everyone shouted in unison, "QUEEN BERYL!!" 



***WHAT WILL YOU DO WHEN YOU ARE FACED WITH YOUR OWN INEVITABLE DEATH???***



"....I'd like to have a menage a trois." 

"A what?!" 
"Yeah. I mean, every guy should have one once before he dies." Jacob 
beamed. "With two women, not two guys." 

"....You idiot!" At this, Priam smashed Jacob in the face. "Are you crazy?!" 



***FROM THAT CRAZY LA-er, AUTHOR WHO BROUGHT YOU "NEON MONKEY" AND "PENGUIN POO"....*** 



"Well, your Highness," General Odd nodded as he took out a stack of papers 
with diagrams. "We have a chance to defeat the inevitable onslaught and mayhem 
if we nip the problem in the bud. So, I propose we send our finest warriors 
inside a giant replica of the rebel Beryl, send it to her court, and then 
have them come out of at night and slaughter everyone they can find, using 
the Maxim guns we'll install in the statue's magnificently huge and ornately 
carved bosom." 

"......General." The queen was beginning to look exasperated. "Do you have 
a plan that's logical?" 



***COMES A STORY OF THE SILVER MILLENNIUM....*** 



"PRINCESS!!! Your mother has a message!!" The guard burst in, only to find 
Serenity covered only by a pillow, leaping out of bed. "...What ARE you doing?"

"Um...." Serenity blushed. "I was, um....h-hot?"

"I'm sure that's....Damnit." Quickly the guard covered his nose and excused 
himself. "Now I gotta go get a Kleenex!"



***....YOU'LL WISH WAS NEVER WRITTEN.*** 



"....WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?" 


Kunzite and Venus turned back to a jaw-dropped Mercury, looking surprised, 
Kunzite with a smattering of lipstick smeared on his face. They looked back 
at each other, then back at Mercury. 


"W....we are....." Kunzite looked at Mercury with his diahhriac face. "Having a 
duel to the death......with our tongues." 




******PAPIRINI PRESENTS******
****WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT**** 




"For conquest! For glory!" 

"FOR POP TARTS!!!"

"....Right." Rolling her eyes at this, Beryl turned back to Metaria. "Let's 
just get going, ok?"

"Graaaugh." The monster responded with sparkles in its eyes. "Cookie dough......
pop taaaarts..."

 

***GOT MILK, GIRLY MAN?***



".....But, your Highness...." The general gulped. "Listen to reason! Screwing 
a lightbulb?! That's painful!" 







****END TEASER****