It's the heyday the Silver Millennium. Our fic pans across
the vast oceans that stretch across the lunar landscape of the
Sea of Tranquility. The glassy blue surface is broken by the
numerous crests of waves, driven to life by the fresh luna-sea
winds. Chugging along through the water, like something out of a
travelogue video, is the Moon Palace's private, royal yacht. 
     As we speed up and swung around to the front, we can see
various bikini-clad Senshi sauntering around the deck and
enjoying the voyage. 
     And upon the very front of the ship's bow, we see Princess
Serenity and Prince Endymion standing up on the railing, their
arms stretched out as they savour the salty air rushing past
them.

Serenity: ^-^ "I'm flying, Jack!"

Endymion: [sweatdrop!] "Endymion."

Serenity: ^-^ "I meant Endymion. Gee, this scene's making me
horny. Let's go down to the cabin and screw our brains out."

Endymion: "Um...I thought your mother and your still-unknown dad
were using the waterbed in there."

Serenity: "My dad? But he's been dead for years...(o.O;) MOM,
THAT'S DISGUSTING!!"

Endymion: "Just think sexy thoughts about me, and it will all go
away."

Serenity: [sigh!] "Oh, I love you, Jack."

Endymion: --;; "I'm Endymion, remember?"

Serenity: "Whatever. Let's boink."

Captain Minako: "Look out! Viking Doji monsters off the port
bow!!"

Serenity & Endymion: o.O;;


     [Cue the Viking Doji monsters on their longboats!]

Captain Todd: [sounding the attack] "For the glory of the nekkid
flash, my comrades in tentacles! Let no 'core of her being' go
uncharted! Leave no nipple untweaked!"

Serenity: [clinging to her prince] "Endymion, save me!"

     [Endymion strikes a Fabio pose as the winds blow through his
hair. He rips open his jacket to display his manly chest!]

Endymion: "Don't worry, my dear, I'll fight them off with my rod
born of love!"



                 STILL PRETTY FLY (FOR A HENTAI):

                 THE OBLIGATORY OMAKE THEATRE BIT



     [We begin our ecchi omake with Greenbeans casually strolling
in front of the various backdrops used in the 'Pretty Fly 2' fic.
Naturally she's dressed in casual jeans and 'Byte Me' shirt. She
pauses dramatically to smile at all you readers out there....]

Greenbeans: ^-^ "Hello everyone, and welcome to our non-lemon
lemon, otherwise known as: Lemon Without the Juice."

     [Greenbeans abruptly stops and glares at Todd & Sean, who
are busy snickering off-screen.]

Greenbeans: "What are you yo-yo's laughing at?"

Sean: "Oh, just the fact that for this entire fic you've been
ardently trying to be the voice of virgin reason."

Greenbeans: [slightly dejected] "What's so bad about that?"

Todd: "Well, for starters, here you are doing a lemon without the
juice, and you're probably the most ecchi of us all!"

Greenbeans: o.O "Just how do you figure that?!"

Sean: "You're from Oregon, Amanda: the beaver state."

     [Rim shot!]

Greenbeans: [looking around] "Where did that drum set come from?"

Todd: "There's no need to deny your inner hentai, Beans. After
all, the beaver is a proud and noble genital."

Greenbeans: [flustered] "I'm not a pervert!"

Sean: "But you're certainly ecchi, given all those Quistis hentai
pics you printed out and stuck on your wall."

Todd: "Poor Haruka must be crushed with all this lack of
attention and ecchi fantasies."

Sean: "Maybe Haruka should start Cosplaying as Quistis now to get
Amanda's attention."

Greenbeans: [blushing profusely] "......"

Sean: [imitating Darth Vader] "Yes, come join the Dark Side of
the Fic, Amanda-chan. Search your underwear; you know it to be
true."

Todd: [with a Yoda hand puppet] "I sense much ecchi in you.
Ecchiness leads to lemons. Lemons lead to poorly-written sex
scenes...and poorly-written sex scenes lead to suffering."

Sean: [annoyed] "Just whose side are you on, anyways?"

Todd: [defending himself] "I thought it was good. And better me
imitating a Muppet than a youma."

Sean: "Point taken. But you ever notice how most SM lemons
involve Doji-like tentacle monsters as opposed to oversexed
youma. You'd think the readers would stay in the Sailormoon realm
by creating a horny daimon or phage or something."

Greenbeans: [lamenting to herself] "This isn't what I wanted the
omake theatre to be."

Sean: "It's a lemon spoof, Beanie-chan. What else were you
expecting?"

Greenbeans: [gesturing to the readers] "I was hoping to
demonstrate to all of them how to use cut scenes and fade outs
and metaphors to get the sex across without actually showing
something on screen."

Todd & Sean: "Oooooh, she's tempting fate!"

Greenbeans: --;; "To which you guys keep ruining it by bluntly
stating stuff."

Sean: "Okay, give the readers a suggestion."

Greenbeans: "Well, when it comes to acts of fellatio, have them
sucking on a banana instead. It's not as graphic, but it
certainly gets the point across."

Sean: "As opposed to just airbrushing it out altogether? Beans,
this is a fic not a manga. We're all text here."

Greenbeans: "Well it was just a suggestion!"

Todd: [scratching his head] "Didn't we already do that banana gag
in the beginning of part 2?"

Sean: [singing] "I've got a lovely bunch of ba-na-nas (dum de
dum). Here they are sucking in a row. Big ones, small ones, some
the size of your--"

Greenbeans: [lobbing a banana at Sean] "Okay, that's enough! Time
for us to act sensibly, and show the readers on how to do a
dignified, high-quality Sailormoon hentai scene."

His lordship Chaos: [popping up!] "Ch'ya right, as if we'd let
the omake go on like this."

Greenbeans: [recoiling in surprise] "Warm me when you're going to
do that!"

Sean: "Let's do the 'rampant lesbian' ending, Chaos."

His lordship Chaos: ^-^ "Excellent call, Sean! Let's cue the
daisy chain!"

Greenbeans: [aghast] "You actually made good on that threat and
wrote a lemon involving a 10-Senshi daisy chain?!"

Sean: "Hai...doesn't everyone?"

His lordship Chaos: "Hey, look at it this way: Sean pulls
directing this scene off, and we create a new fanfic record. It's
the most Senshi present in a single orgy."

Todd: "Just to let you guys know, I just got off the phone with
Guinness World Records; they'll be here in an hour."

Sean: Now, the original version of this didn't QUITE work out  
as planned. So I decided to do what all good authors do when
they're stuck for a really good scene."

Greenbeans: "Plagiarize?"

His lordship Chaos: [turning to Sean] "That sounds about right."
 
Sean: [nodding] "Precisely! Plus, as a special added treat for
the reader, I wrangled us several celebrity cameos!"
 
Todd: "There *will* be orgasms, right?"
 
Sean: "Yes, the juice will flow. Just give it time."
 
Greenbeans: "So where is it?"

     [Chaos, Sean & Todd all start waving their hands in the air
as the scene ripples & distorts.]

Guys: "Do-lo-do-doot! Do-lo-do-doot! Do-lo-do-doot! Do-lo-do-
doot!"

Greenbeans: [argh!] "This isn't happening...."


     [Cue the 'Rampant Lesbian' ending!!]


     The curtain rises on our ten Senshi.
     Nine of them, including an adult Hotaru and Chibiusa, are
arranged tastefully in a star/circle/thing, giving each other
easy access to any random genitalia they may want to taste. Yet
there is one noticeable gap, right between Rei and Minako. Usagi
sits just outside the circle, as naked as the rest of them, but
with a pained, uncertain look on her face.
 
Usagi: "I can't...not like this. I love you all, I want this to 
mean something." 
 
Makoto: "But the whole point of this is that it doesn't mean
anything! There's no emotional attachments for this episode, it's
just a chance to make lemon history!"
 
Michiru: "There have been Senshi lemons, and even three and
foursomes, but not even the 10 O'clock Assassin has used all ten
of us!"
 
Ami: "Think of the recognition we'll get in the fanfic
community!" 
 
Minako: "Think of the orgasms you can give me! Get down here!"
 
Usagi: "But...but...what about our shared emotional connection?"
 
     [Everyone rolls their eyes. Suddenly the others fade from
existence. Or, to be more accurate, it's as if the lights simply
faded out on their forms and reappeared farther out in the room. 
Usagi looks up, startled, to discover several shadowed forms
standing around her....]
 
Voice: "This isn't about just you, Usagi Tsukino. Or even your
friends. Or, believe it or not, even about orgasms. It's about
history. About what has been, and will be. And what you must
become."

Usagi: [confused] "I'm starring in the next Terminator movie?"
 
     [The woman steps forward, and Usagi gasps.]
 
Usagi: "You...you're Xena! Warrior Princess!"
 
     [Xena smiles. From the shadows, Gabrielle emerges, wrapping
her arms around the other woman.]
 
Gabrielle: "We've been asked to talk to you. After all, no one's
had more online yuri fiction written about them than us."
 
Xena: "Usagi, think about what they're asking of you."
  
Usagi: [shaking her head] "I don't understand!"
 
     [Others emerge from the shadows, one by one. First to appear
is Sakura, naked but with a Clow Card in her hand, and Tomoyo
beside her.]
 
Sakura: "Lesbian Sailormoon lemons are incredibly important,
Usagi. More so than you realize."
 
     [Vampire Slayers Buffy and Faith appear, both naked but with
wooden stakes in hands.]
 
Buffy: "And this one is even more important. Ten of you, the
entire group, performing something none of the rest of us can."
 
Faith: [aside to Buffy] "Not for lack of trying...."
 
Buffy: [sotto voice] "Shhhh!"

     [Abruptly Sylia and the other Knight Sabers step out into
the light.]
 
Sylia: "You make the ones who came before you proud."
 
Priss: "So to speak."
 
Sylia: "Quiet, you."
 
     [Next to the Knight Sabres appear Captain Janeway and Seven
of Nine.]
 
Janeway: "And you continue to inspire those writing for any
series that follows you." 
 
     [Suddenly an elevator appears, silhouetted against a blue
sky, and a voice speaks.]

Voice: "If the egg's shell does not break, the chick will die
without getting laid." 

     [The outline of Anthy appears, leaning against the elevator
wall.] 

Anthy: "The lemon is the egg, and you are all quite the chicks." 
     
     [The outline of Juri appears opposite Anthy.] 

Juri: "If your lemon's limitations are not broken, you will not
be able to inspire other authors to write of our series one day.
We will die without having been able to celebrate our own
gratuitous orgies."
     
     [The outline of Utena appears between them.] 

Utena: "Break the daisy chain record!"
     
All: "For the revolution of the lemon!"

     [There is a brief interlude as Usagi tries to comprehend all
that has suddenly gone on.]

Usagi: "I can't believe that my having sex with my friends
matters so much."
 
Xena: "It doesn't, not as yourself. But you're more than that."
 
Tomoyo: "You're a fictional character."
 
Faith: "You inspire others."
 
Utena: "Not the characters...."
 
Priss: "But the authors who recreate us every day."
 
Seven of Nine: "You make it possible for more authors to try
writing a lemon."

     [Usagi looks torn, but is also clearly moving closer to the
other Senshi, still totally shadowed.]
 
Usagi: "But there are lots of really icky, horrible, poorly
written lemons!"
 
Xena: "Yes. And they'll still be written. But by continuing 
to attract people to writing lemons about you, you attract the  
good writers as well."

     [Usagi turns back towards the others, who are now lit up
once more. She smiles, and takes her place between Minako's
thighs and Rei's head. Cue the upbeat musical segway!] 


Usagi: ^-^ [singing]     Sit on my face and tell me that
                         you love me

Rei:                     I'll sit on your face and tell you
                         I love you too

Setsuna:                 I love to hear you or-al-ise

Chibiusa:                When I'm between your thighs

Ami & Makoto:            You blow me away!

Minako:                  Sit on my face and let my lips
                         embrace you

Hotaru:                  I'll sit on your face and then
                         I'll love you truly


Haruka & Michiru:        Life can be fine if we both
                         sixty-nine


     [Cue the sudden appearance of the Asteroid Senshi & the
Sailor Animates, who join in the orgy!]


All:                     If we sit on our faces
                         In all sorts of places
                         And play till we're blow away!


     [At the climactic point in the song, moaning and gasping
drowns out the music! The Senshi's bodies each move to their own
individual pacing and rhythms, yet the effect created is an odd
waving roll that looks almost planned. One by one, the Senshi
start to climax, each one different, yet adding to the passions
their circle has created. As Usagi's body arches slightly, and
she prepares to give herself over to her orgasm, the song reaches
a crescendo. Much rejoicing!!]

Greenbeans: --;; "Only you guys would feature an orgy with the
Senshi singing Monty Python."

His lordship Chaos: [shrug!] "It was either that, or 'Bad Touch'
from the Bloodhound Gang."

     [Greenbeans suddenly finds one her arms reach out to fondle
Haruka's bosoms. She immediately smacks it with her other hand.]

Todd: "Yes...embrace your ecchiness and stroke down a Senshi, and
then your journey to the Dark Side of the Fic shall be
complete...."

Greenbeans: "Will you cut that out?"

His lordship Chaos: "Hey, you started this omake."

Sean: [directing the Senshi] "No no no! I don't want plot and
character development. I want sex, lots of it!"

     [Sean suddenly points to Hotaru!]

Sean: "I want her, the sultry bitch with the fire in her eyes!"

Greenbeans: [walking off] "That's it, I quit. If anyone needs me,
I'll be hiding in my closet, thinking unsexy thoughts."

His lordship Chaos: [aside to Sean & Todd] "Do you think we
should have warned her about the nekkid Haruka we hid in her
closet?"

Greenbeans: [off-screen] "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Haruka: [off-screen glomping] "Oh, Amanda, you DO love me after
all!"

Chaos & Todd & Sean: ^-^ "Nah!"







     [The End. We mean it. Go home. Seek help.]