WARNING: Some discussion of suicide. Chapter 12 After a night of restless -- though thankfully dreamless -- sleep, Serenity was awakened the following morning by a soft knock on the door. Her eyes fluttering open, she sat up and yawned. “Come in!” The door opened, and Eos entered the room, balancing a large silver tray in her arms. Whiffs of freshly-brewed coffee and warm bread tickled at Serenity’s nose. “Good morning, Your Highness,” Eos said, bowing her head to Serenity before unloading the contents of the tray on a small table in the corner of the room. “I hope I didn’t wake you.” “It’s fine.” Serenity reached for her robe as Diana, who had also woken up, jumped off the bed and transformed into her human form. “I wasn’t sleeping very well anyway.” Diana, taking a seat at the table, frowned. “Did you have another bad dream?” “No, actually.” Serenity joined Diana and grabbed a blueberry muffin from the basket sitting at the center of the table. “I spoke with Hyperion-sama last night.” Eos’ eyes widened in surprise as she handed Serenity the first cup of coffee. “You *spoke* to him? As in, you had an actual conversation with him?” “I’m not sure if I would really call it a conversation,” Serenity said, thinking back to the previous night. “I did most of the talking, but he did respond to me, a little.” “That’s wonderful, Serenity-sama!” Eos exclaimed, pressing the empty tray against her chest. “It’s like a miracle!” “Don’t call it a miracle yet.” Serenity sighed and stared down at her steaming coffee. “There’s something weighing down on him, something heavy that he doesn’t want to talk about.” “Like what?” Diana asked. Serenity shook her head. After Hyperion returned to his room, she had wondered what might be troubling him so much, but she had failed to come to any definite conclusions. And she still didn’t understand why Hyperion kept appearing in her dreams, something he seemed to be aware of, based on his recognition of her. “I don’t know, Diana. Your guess is as good as mine.” “At least it’s a start in the right direction,” Eos said. “That’s something, right?” “I hope so.” After taking a sip of her coffee, she asked, “Where is Hyperion- sama at the moment?” “At the tower for morning prayers.” “Has he had breakfast yet?” “Aurora brought him a tray earlier this morning, but he didn’t eat much,” Eos said. “I’m afraid he doesn’t eat much at all these days, which is unusual for Hyperion-sama. He used to have a very healthy appetite, especially when it came to sweets. He had a huge sweet tooth, but now he doesn‘t even touch his dessert.” “I see…” A plan began to form in Serenity’s head. She wasn’t sure if it would work, but she had to do something. “Eos-chan, would you mind packing a picnic lunch this afternoon? For three?” Eos looked from Serenity to Diana, confused. “Three? Are you expecting a guest?” “Prepare some of Hyperion-sama’s favorite foods if you can,” Serenity said in reply to her question. The Maenad sighed. “We’ve tried that before, Your Highness. We thought he might eat more if it was food he loved, but he ate the same amount as always.” “It’s worth another try. Would you mind?” “I’ll do whatever I can to help.” ***** As promised, Eos had a picnic basket ready for them around lunchtime. While Hyperion was busy performing his afternoon prayers, Serenity and Diana snuck into his room with Eos’ help. Serenity wanted to catch him in a place where he was unlikely to run off. The two of them stayed hidden behind his bed until they heard him come in and close the door behind him. “Hyperion-sama!” Startled, the young priest turned around, though he didn’t say anything. He simply stared at her and Diana, who was in cat form per Serenity’s request. “I’m so glad I caught you,” she said in a forced cheerful voice, holding up the wicker basket in her hand. “Eos-chan made me this wonderful picnic basket, but there’s way too much food for just me and Diana. Would you like to join us? We were thinking of going to the lake.” Hyperion looked down at his feet. “I’m…not really hungry,” he said in a soft voice that was barely audible. In direct contrast to his words, his stomach growled. “Your stomach seems to say otherwise,” Serenity lightly teased, taking his hand. “Come on.” Though Hyperion continued to stand in place, to her surprise, he didn’t immediately let go of her hand. “I-I…” “You like fried chicken, don’t you? And chocolate chip cookies?” “I don’t…not like them,” he admitted, glancing away. “Then come with us.” Unwilling to take “no” for an answer, Serenity opened the door and pulled Hyperion back out into the hall. He was resistant at first, but surrendered to her lead, allowing her to guide him to the grassy pasture near the shrine where Pegasus was kept. Though years had passed since she last saw the winged unicorn, Pegasus recognized her at once, walking straight up to her and nuzzling at her cheek. “Hey, there, boy. It’s been a while,” she said, handing the horse one of the carrots Eos had included in the basket. While Pegasus was eating, she turned to Hyperion. “Have you been taking him out for exercise?” “Aurora-san and Eos-san have. I’m not that great a rider.” “It’s been a long time since I’ve had the chance to ride,” Serenity admitted. “Helios taught me when I was younger.” Memories of those long ago happy days threatened to fill her mind, but Serenity was quick to push them away, knowing if she let them through, she would break down. She needed to focus on Hyperion, not on her own sorrow. Serenity had asked Aurora to prepare Pegasus for riding beforehand, so he was already fitted with a gold-plated saddle and reins. After placing Diana in the empty half of the basket, she handed it to Hyperion and hoisted herself up on Pegasus‘ back. “Here,” she said, offering Hyperion her hand. Hyperion, after a moment’s hesitation, took the hand and allowed her to pull him up. He sat in front of her, the basket held in his hands. Serenity’s arms surrounded him as she reached for the reins. “Hold onto that basket. We don’t want Diana to fall.” With a silent command, Serenity urged Pegasus to take flight. They were soon high in the air, looking down at Elysion. The sadness that seemed to envelop the shrine extended outward. Though the land was still beautiful, there were beginning signs of decay. Trees were beginning to lose their leaves, flowers were less abundant, and the once vibrant colors were faded and dull, as if covered by a light shadow. Serenity let out a small gasp when she saw what Elysion had become, and even Hyperion seemed disturbed by the sight, quickly looking back up and swiping the sleeve of his tunic across his eyes. Serenity pretended she didn’t see. Deciding it best to wait until they landed before beginning any serious conversations, Serenity was silent until she saw the lake in the middle of the forest. She told Hyperion to hold on tight and yanked lightly on Pegasus’ reins, signaling for him to land. Down on the ground, Serenity dismounted and helped Hyperion down as well. Then, after leading Pegasus to the lake to drink, she took the picnic basket from Hyperion’s hands and began laying out the food on the checkered blanket Eos had provided. Diana remained in cat form, running off to chase after a butterfly as soon as she hopped out of the basket. It was part of Serenity’s plan for Hyperion to think that Diana was merely an ordinary Earth cat. According to Eos, he had never met Luna or Artemis while they were in their feline forms and was unaware they were shape- shifters, as were most of Earth’s citizens, who knew them only as the king and queen‘s trusted advisors. Serenity planned to use his ignorance to set Diana up as a round- the-clock bodyguard of sorts, hoping that even if he continued to push her and the Maenads away, he wouldn’t mind a cat keeping him company. For her part, Diana played her role well. After becoming “bored” with the butterfly, she turned her attention to Hyperion, who stood staring at the lake. She came up to him and began rubbing herself against his legs, purring so loud that Serenity could hear her nearly ten feet away. When he became aware of the cat’s presence, Hyperion scooped Diana in his arms and absent-mindedly stroked her fur as he continued looking out at the water. “Eos-chan really outdid herself,” Serenity said once she had finished laying down the spread, “didn’t she?” When Hyperion made no move to join her, she patted the empty spot beside her on the blanket. “Hyperion-sama, have a seat. Don’t be shy.” Hyperion jumped a little at the sound of his name, but came over and sat down on the blanket where she had indicated, Diana snuggling in his lap. Serenity handed him an empty plate. “Take whatever you want. As you can see, there’s plenty to go around.” He chose a small assortment of food, barely covering up half his plate, while Serenity filled hers nearly to the brim, taking a little of everything. When she caught Hyperion staring at her selection, she blushed in embarrassment. “I’m afraid I inherited my mother’s appetite,” she admitted, “though, luckily, I seem to have her metabolism as well.” Looking at Hyperion’s meager pickings, she frowned. “Is that all you want? You’re a growing boy.” For the first time since they landed, Hyperion spoke. “My growth stopped the moment I became priest of Elysion,” he explained in a soft voice, looking down at his plate. He had yet to take a bite. “I’ll be this age eternally.” “But Helios grew,” Serenity said, confused. She had assumed that even if the aging process was slower in Elysion, people still aged. “He’s older than I remember.” “He only resumed aging a few years ago, when we began the conversion. The more power he lost, the faster he grew.” “I see.” So it was similar to what had happened to her, except that it had been the awakening of her powers as a Sailor Senshi that led to her growth resuming, not the loss of power. “Well, still, have a little more.” Serenity placed another drumstick on his plate. “Eos-chan told me fried chicken was your favorite food.” After that, the two of them ate their meals in silence. As expected, Hyperion only nibbled at his food, feeding most of his chicken to Diana, who refused to stoop so low as to eat the can of cat food Serenity had set out for her, regardless of the “normal cat” masquerade. He didn’t even touch his cookies. “You don’t like it?” Serenity asked when he set the unfinished plate aside. “It’s fine,” he said. “Like I said before, I’m not very hungry.” Serenity knew he was lying, but she couldn’t force him to eat if he didn’t want to. Instead, she continued with her own meal, studying Hyperion’s profile as he once again stared out at the lake. He seemed almost…entranced by it. “Why did you bring me here?” It was the first time Hyperion had spoken to her on his own accord, and not in response to something she said. Serenity, wanting to tread carefully, put down her plate and considered the question before answering. “This is a special place to me,” she finally said. “This forest is where I first met Helios.” “He liked to come here a lot, when he had the time,” he said. “Did you come here with him often?” Hyperion glanced over at her. “How did you know?” “A lucky guess.” Sighing, Hyperion turned his attention back to the lake. “Helios-sama told me this was a special place to him, too,” he murmured. “He said there was no place more beautiful in all of Elysion.” “I agree,” Serenity said, joining him in looking out at the crystal blue water, which sparkled in the sunlight. Unlike the rest of Elysion, the forest was the one place that still felt truly alive, the one bright spot in an otherwise dreary and somber world. “I would hate for this place to be tainted by sadness, too.” “What do you mean?” “You tried to kill yourself here, didn’t you?” Serenity hadn’t meant to broach the subject so bluntly, but with the question out in the open, she paid special attention to his reaction. Though he didn’t say anything, she could tell Hyperion was rattled, his posture straightening as Diana left the comfort of his lap to sit beside Serenity. He then drew up his knees, hugging them close to his chest as he hid his face. So it was true. Serenity brought a hand to her mouth, struggling not to cry out. Though the Maenads and her father had suspected that he had tried to commit suicide, she had hoped they were wrong, that something else had led him out to the lake that night. Hyperion was still so young, not even a teenager… But he had gone through so much already in his short life, experienced so much pain and sadness. Life had caused him to grow up long before his time. “That wasn’t the first time you tried, was it?” Serenity asked after composing herself. She may have been pushing her luck, but she needed to know the true extent of his suicidal thoughts. “The reason why you won’t eat is because you’re trying to starve yourself, aren’t you?” She touched his arm, encouraging him to look back up. “Hyperion-sama?” Hyperion jumped up and rounded on her. “You don’t know anything about me!” he shouted, the loudest he had spoken in her presence. “Don’t talk to me like you know me, like you care about me!” “I do care about you, Hyperion-sama,” Serenity said, scrambling to her feet and taking one of his hands between her own. “I’m worried about you. We all are -- Eos-chan, Aurora-chan, my father. We want to help you, but you have to let us in.” “You can’t,” Hyperion declared, yanking his hand away from her. In a softer voice, he added, “Nobody can.” “You don’t know that.” Hyperion’s hands clenched into fists at his side. “You shouldn’t concern yourself with me, Your Highness,” he said, unwilling to look her in the eye. “I’m not worth saving.” “What are you saying? Life is precious, and always worth saving. I know you are going through a difficult time right now, but is it so bad you feel your only option is to throw your life away as if it was nothing? What about the people who love you? Do you want them to feel the same pain you are feeling right now? Do you want to cause them sadness?” “No, of course not, but…” “Then let me help you. Tell me how you feel.” “Do you really want to know how I feel?” he asked, finally looking Serenity in the eye. “Fine, I’ll tell you. I want everybody to hate me, that’s how I feel. All I ever cause is grief, and I have never once made somebody happy. It would have been better if I had never been born. If I hadn‘t, then maybe…maybe…” “What?” she prodded, again grasping for his hand, which he pulled back away from her. “What did you do, Hyperion-sama?” “You should hate me most of all, Serenity-sama,” Hyperion said mournfully before turning around and sprinting off into the forest. “Hyperion-sama!” “Aren’t you going to go after him?” Diana asked, coming up beside Serenity. With Hyperion out of earshot, she could drop the “normal cat” charade. She shook her head, fighting every instinct she had to run after the boy. “I want to, but I don’t think I should. He won’t talk to me; I went too far.” She looked down at her guardian cat. “Diana, keep an eye on him. I don’t like the idea of him going off by himself when he’s that upset, but I don’t want to risk making him angrier with me than he already is. Keep to the original plan, and make sure he doesn’t hurt himself.” Diana nodded. “Got it,” the cat said before running off after him. ***** Serenity returned to the shrine by herself, her heart heavy and feeling even more useless than usual. As much as she wanted to help Hyperion, she knew his problems were more than she could deal with. Sliding her back down one of the shrine’s outside columns to sit on the ground, she let out the sob she had been struggling to keep in from the moment she realized the true extent of Hyperion’s situation, gasping for air as the tears streamed down her face. “Serenity-sama!” Eos and Aurora, who had been tending to the overgrown gardens within earshot, dropped their gardening tools and ran over to Serenity, Eos kneeling down beside her. “Your Highness, what is it?” she asked. “What’s wrong? Where’s Hyperion-sama?” She gasped. “Did something happen? Is he…is he…?” Serenity shook her head. “He’s okay,” she managed to spill out between heaving breaths. “Diana is with him now, but…but…” “Here,” Aurora said, pulling a handkerchief from her pocket and offering it to Serenity. “Please, try to calm yourself down. We can barely understand you.” Nodding, Serenity took the handkerchief and forced herself to take in a couple of deep breaths. The intake of fresh oxygen helped, and her sobs eventually subsided. She wiped away her tears and looked up, wringing Aurora’s handkerchief between her hands. “Your suspicions were correct, Aurora-chan,” Serenity said, her voice strained as she held back the tears threatening to resume. “The time you saved him from drowning in the lake, Hyperion-sama was trying to commit suicide.” “Are you certain? He told you that?” “He didn’t have to tell me. I could tell by his reaction when I brought it up. And that’s not the only time he’s attempted it either. He’s been intentionally starving himself, hoping it would kill him.” Eos covered her mouth with her hands, horrified. “Oh, no, it’s worse than we thought, Aurora. What are we going to do?” “This is too big for me to handle on my own,” Serenity confessed. “You two need to take him to Crystal Tokyo. They have doctors and clinics there that can help him. I’m sure Mercury-sama can give you a recommendation.” “Serenity-sama, you’ve forgotten Hyperion-sama must stay here in Elysion,” Aurora reminded her. “His powers are not yet strong enough to visit Crystal Tokyo even for a short time. That’s why we never brought him to see Helios-sama when he was in the hospital.” “Then what can we do?” Eos asked again. At that moment, Hyperion returned to the shrine, Diana trailing behind him. As Serenity and the Maenads were gathered in front of the entrance, he had no choice but to pass by them if he wanted to go inside. Serenity met his eyes for a moment, but Hyperion quickly glanced away, his pace speeding up. “Hyperion-sama!” Eos called out, but the young priest had already disappeared inside the shrine, Diana just barely squeaking by before the door closed behind him. Aurora prevented Eos from following after him, grabbing her by the elbow. “Leave him be for the moment. Diana is with him, so he should be okay for now. Right now, we need to come up with a plan to deal with this situation.” She turned her attention back to Serenity, who had risen back to her feet. “Is there truly nothing you can do to help him?” “I’m going back to Crystal Tokyo tomorrow,” Serenity announced, making the decision right then and there. “I’ll ask Mercury-sama to give me some recommendations and find a psychiatrist who is willing to come here to Elysion.” Considering the circumstances, it was the only option available to them. “Until then, you two need to make sure he’s never alone. Even if he locks you out or pushes you away, you mustn’t give him the opportunity to harm himself.” “We understand. Thank you, Serenity-sama. We are in your debt.” Serenity shook her head, unwilling to accept their gratitude. “I wasn’t able to do anything. Again, I’m completely helpless.” “Serenity-sama…” DISCLAIMER: Sailor Moon is the property of Naoko Takeuchi. AUTHOR'S NOTES: Any comments or criticisms can be sent to me at ElysionDream@aol.com. Special thanks to my editor Starsea.