~One Dark and Perverted Night~
PART 3: "Blinded by the Pea Green"
One by cautious one, the Inner Senshi leapt onto the balcony of poor, ignorant Chiba Mamoru. Jupiter grumbled incoherent profanities as Venus shoved her toward the door.
"Work your magic, Mako-chan!"
"It's not magic," the Thunder warrior sighed, plucking a stray bobby pin from her hair. "Just logic."
"Logic, magic, it's all the same," Venus waved apathetically, watching as her friend roughly fiddled with the key hole. A few minutes of impatient silence passed, accompanied by the clicking noise of metal scratching against metal. Then came the increasingly irate Jupiter's muttering:
"What's with- It should be- I don't get- *fuck*, why isn't-"
"Er, Mako-chan," Mercury cut in hesitantly; weakly. As if she was afraid of having her head bitten off... which was of course quite a reasonable assumption. "I think-"
"*Shut up, Ami-chan*! I know what I'm doing! It's just this stupid lock is-"
"Not locked?" the aqua-headed bookworm suggested, reaching out and easily twisting the handle. The glass door swung open eagerly. Mars rather thought that if it had a countenance, it would have been laughing. Perhaps even dying to let loose a gibe or two... Jupiter glared daggers at the transparent obstacle for a moment, cheeks equivalent to the hue of a rose. Then she sniffed disparagingly, shuffling inside with what was left of her dignity. Everyone else followed suit, snickering and mocking the whole way. They found themselves in the middle of Mamoru's sparsely decorated bedroom. Every object was in pristine condition; the bed was neatly made... even the dust mites were in their place! If Mamoru wasn't hot as hell, and a Prince to boot, then the Inners would have doubted his worth as a significant other... who wanted to date someone so *boring*?
"Hey, Mako-chan... know what?" Venus, still in hysterics from the failed lock-pick, giggled through her fingers. Jupiter rounded on the blonde threateningly, and the flaxen shrunk away. Those emerald orbs looked a little too homicidal to be healthy, you know? Best put a couple feet between them before the Love Senshi dug her own grave a little deeper...
"What?" the brunette ground out through clenched teeth. Definitely reviewing the five best ways to kidnap, maim, and kill a dumb blonde. Slowly.
"You just admitted to prior criminal experience!"
"I- what? No, I did *not*!" Jupiter was temporarily surprised out of manslaughter.
"Yeah you did! You said, and I quote, 'I know what I'm doing' to Ami-chan! So... got-*cha*! What else have you been hiding?" Venus exclaimed victoriously, a strange manic gleam in her cerulean depths.
"So? Tons of people know how to pick a lock; that doesn't mean I'm a criminal!" Jupiter rebuffed. "I'm not secreting a felonious past!"
"Have you been to jail?" the orange clad Sailor interrogated seriously, getting right up in Jupiter's grill.
"No!" the other teen shouted, pushing Venus away. "And you're lucky I'm a tolerant person, because I'm half a breath away from tearing your hair out!"
"NOOOOO! Not me precious locks!" Venus shrieked, running and hiding behind Mercury. "Blatant attempts at intimidation and blackmail, I tell you!"
"Minako-chan, for once in your life, shut up! Mamoru-san could show up any minute!" chastised Mars, who alone among the three was examining the bedroom. "And-" She de-transformed back into civilian garb, sighing happily. "Ah, much better. Performing espionage in heels is murder." Everyone else followed suit, then joined the onyx-orbed priestess in front of a pair of double doors. Two wooden-paneled available closets stood about three feet apart. Now they all teetered on the precipice of decision... which closet were they least likely to be caught in?
Well, there was only one way to find out.
Minako slid open the one in greatest propinquity with the bed. The oak parted to reveal every-day clothing organized right down to matching fabric patterns. Each garment seemed ironed into glorious perfection; not one pair of jeans or one t-shirt had the tiniest crinkle marring it. Minako mimed gagging and slammed the door shut.
"Ew, too neat. I'd have a bird if that was my closet; in fact, I'm tempted to muss up his work suits just to make myself feel more at home."
"Well, let's see the ungodly horrors our finicky Prince has hidden in his second closet," Makoto said grimly, throwing bare the last wooden obstacle. Everyone gasped and the lone blonde cried,
"Vomit in my mouth, vomit in my mouth, vomit in my mouth!"
"I feel sick," Ami groaned in concurrence, clawing at her eyes of all places though.
"Chocked with nerves to the point where it's affecting your vision, dear Ami-chan?" Rei teased balefully, nudging the blunette.
"No, it's the pea green... *everywhere*..."
Indeed, the final closet was inhabited with every viridian jacket Mamoru owned... which apparently, was not just one solo raiment as the girls had previously believed, but a whole colony.
"Maybe they breed," Rei suggested, but she was cut off by Makoto's stricken,
"Gods, it's like he's made a shrine for them!"
Minako clutched her heart and recited solemnly, "Here lives the ugliest color known to man. Once thought nearly extinct, it has been discovered that one Chiba Mamoru-san is in fact hoarding the endangered jackets and attempting to revive their pea hue in the fashion world by means of a secret zoo in his bedroom closet."
Silence followed this statement, then a multitude of snickers.
"Good one, Minako-chan," Ami laughed. "But unfortunately, I think this closet is going to become our nighttime stake-out."
"WHAT!?"
"Well, think about it. This closet is obviously not used as much as the other one. If we hide here, we're far less likely to be found, right?"
The other Senshi groaned.
"I hate to admit it... but she's right," Makoto sighed.
"Do I have permission to burn a couple during our confinement?" Minako whined.
"Interestingly enough... I'm not going to yell at you," Rei replied with a big grin. "Because I really do hate those stupid pea green jackets. And I think we'll all agree that no one will be overly aggrieved- except maybe Mamoru-san- if we see to their demise."
"Yaaaaay, burning party!"
"AFTER the dare ends."
"Aw, you're no fun, Rei-chan."
Just then, the distant sound of a lock becoming unlocked- the legal, non-felonious way- permeated into the bedroom.
"Oh shit," Makoto swore, and her expletive just about summed up all the Senshi's thoughts.
The night was about to get a little more exciting.
TBC
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~AngelMoon Girl
