Decisions of the Heart
Chapter 1/4
By Baine
Email: ladybaine@gmail.com
Written: July 18, 2002
Posted: September 13, 2002
Summary: “So, Momo, it's time to choose. Who's it gonna be, him or me? You can't have us both, you know...”
Special thanks: Azurite—What would I do w/o you? You gave me the confidence to post this, that’s for sure! (And I will read your stuff SOON, promise! ::Crosses heart:: You know how behind I am……..)
Finyda—Thanks for the title! It was so hard to come up with a title for this baka story…….::sighs::
Enjoy, minna!
~~Disclaimer: Peach Girl belongs to Miwa Ueda. In the Japanese version, Kiley is really Kairi, but since everyone knows him as “Kiley,” he’ll be Kiley in my fanfic ^_^
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Decisions of the Heart
By Baine
~Chapter One~
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Ever since the day I rescued Momo from Sae, we've grown closer.
Unfortunately, our closest is never close enough.
After everything I've done for her, we're still just friends.
Sometimes I think that we could be so much more, and I know that there are times when she feels it, too.
She isn't dating that wimp anymore, either. Now's my chance. But no, she'll never see me as anything but the friend who's there whenever she needs to be bailed out of trouble.
I cast my eyes away from the blond-haired goddess walking towards me, turning to the petite brunette by my side.
I flirt shamelessly until she walks past me, then excuse myself and head to the park. That's the good thing about being labeled a "Playboy." Girls always surround me, no matter how much I ignore them.
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I sit on my favorite bench overlooking the lake. I come here often to think. In all honesty, it's quite refreshing. I close my eyes, allowing the gentle wind to bathe my face becoming lost once more in my thoughts.
I've known since the day I befriended Momo that she only had eyes for Toji. And that was okay. I mean, sure I flirted with the girl, but it didn't mean anything. Okay, I admit that I had a bit of a crush on her at the time. Then again, I've had a crush on just about every girl in the school at one time or another. It's part of being a guy.
Momo has probably been my longest crush, though. After all, I honestly thought that she was the one who gave me CPR that day at the beach. So of course I flirted with her! After that day, though...my infatuation became so much more.
I, Okayasu Kiley, playboy of my high school, have finally given away my heart. Not only that, but I’ve thrown it to the one girl who doesn't even want it! Talk about a new low. Even now, she thinks I'm just a tease, that I say what I do in jest. Probably because I still tend to sprinkle our conversations with lewd remarks. But come on, I can't break one of my oldest habits cold turkey! Even for her.
Now, it hurts to even see her, to have her talk to me like we're the best of friends, to come so close to her melon-scented hair and warm hugs, to know that I don't mean nearly as much to her as she does to me...that I never will.
So I've started avoiding her. And she has noticed. I know she has. I can see the hurt look in her eyes every time I brush her aside. It kills me to do it. It kills me when I don't do it. I can never win.
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Well I don't wanna be president
Superman or Clark Kent
I don't wanna walk 'round in their shoes
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If there was no Toji? She and I would be together. She's even gone so far as to tell me so! That hurts worst of all. I'll never win more than a silver medal in the fight for Momo's heart.
I throw a pebble into the lake, watching as it skips four times before sinking to the bottom. As the ripples fade away, all I can see is Momo. The curve of her lips, the amber flecks in her eyes, the perfect shade of bronze adorning her skin. To me, she is perfect, a vision with no flaws. Her image dances over the water's surface, taunting me. I throw another pebble as I feel the wind shift and fade away.
"What are you doing out here, Kiley?"
I turn my head and see her sitting beside me. Apparently, the vision had been a real reflection this time...unless the Momo now sitting beside me is also a mirage? I'm truly losing it, aren’t I? Who would have ever thought a girl existed who could make me lose touch with reality?
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'Cause I don't know who's side I'm on
I don't know my right from wrong
I don't know where I'm going to
I don't know about you
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"Kiley?" She places her hand on my shoulder, radiating her heat as it passes through my sleeve and encompasses my skin. Mirages aren't warm—or firm and solid.
"Hi, Momo."
"Are you alright, Kiley??"
I shrug carelessly, an impartial expression plastered to my face. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"I don't know, you look...sad."
I look at her. She truly is as clueless as she is gorgeous. She has no idea of the turbulent thoughts that are tumbling through my head, does she?
"I'm fine, Momo. I’m just...lost in thought."
"About what?"
"Life. Have you ever felt like you're spinning out of control while everyone else continues to go though through the motions at a normal speed?”
"Sometimes, yes. Moreso now than ever before."
******************************************
I'll be the rain falling on your fire escape
And I may not be the man you want me to be
I can be myself, how 'bout you?
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"Really?"
"Yeah." She nervously twirls a strand of honey blond hair around her finger. "Sometimes, I feel like I don't know my left from my right anymore, that I've made so many wrong choices that I won’t ever get back onto the right path."
I look at her curiously. She did? "Like what?"
"The way I dealt with Sae, the way that I went after Toji...the way that I treated you."
"You regret being my friend?"
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I don't wanna make you mad
I don't wanna meet your dad
I don't wanna be your dream come true
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"No, never! But sometimes I wonder if I've done the right thing. Maybe I should have given you a chance once Toji and I broke up instead of pining after him. You were so supportive of me. I mean, you even helped me get back together with Toji! And look at where we are now."
What in the world is she getting at? I stare at her, confused. “Uh...what?”
"Kiley, you can't even look me in the eye anymore! You can only turn away from me! I've ruined our friendship!"
"No, Momo, I—"
"I guess deep down, I knew you liked me. I was just so into Toji, and—"
"You still are, Momo."
"Kiley, I don't want to lose you!"
"I'm right here beside you."
"But are you? Everything is different now!"
"Momo...you can't be serious."
"Why not?"
"Because you're in love with Toji! You have been since Jr. High!"
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'Cause I don't know just what I've found
I don't know my sky from ground
I don't know where I'm going to
I don't know about you
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"But am I really? Or am I just in love with the idea of being in love? He was the first boy I ever liked, Kiley."
"How do you feel about him now?"
"I don't know. I'm so confused inside..."
"And me?"
"I...you're Kiley. I don't know. I never expected it to hurt so much when you blew me off. But it did. I mean, it does."
"So you're saying...what?"
"Why are you making my head spin, Kiley?"
*****************************************
I'll be the rain falling on your fire escape
And I may not be the man you want me to be
I can be myself, how 'bout you?
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"I'm making you think. Don't say things that you don't mean, especially to me."
"But it's all true, Kiley! I mean, if I had never met Toji, and you asked me out? I probably would have said yes. I've told you that before!"
"You can't like us both, Momo."
"Tell that to my heart!"
"Momo, you can't keep leading us on like this. You're going to have to choose. Who's it gonna be, him or me? You can't have us both, you know. If you choose him, don't come back to me later. If you reject me now, I'll move on." I stare at her intently, feeling as though the fate of the world lay upon her next words...
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I'll be the rain falling on your fire escape
And I may not be the man you want me to be
I can be myself, how 'bout you?
I can be myself, how 'bout you?
I can be myself
How 'bout you?
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Finished July 18, 2002
Song: ~"Fire Escape," Fastball~
Like it? Hate it? I’m the one to talk to! Hit the little review button or Email ladybaine at gmail dot com today!
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