Fireproof by Starsea

We’ve walked both sides of every street,
Through all kinds of windy weather,
But that was never our defeat
As long as we could walk together…
Don McLean
Crossroads

Stay with me and let ’em see,
Let ’em see how much you love me, that you love me,
If it’s true, who cares what they do?
Keep on holdin’ onto me,
They’ll learn in time.
Nina Simone
I Love You

“Where the hell have you been?!”

It was Rei waiting for her, not Mars: legs planted on the floor, arms akimbo, eyes positively blazing with anger and accusation.

Minako looked back at her without flinching. “Nice to see you, too, Rei-chan.”

“Don’t even try it, you know you’re in the wrong!” Rei shot back. “Endymion tells us the shitennou are back and what do you do?! You DISAPPEAR! Without a single word! Even Artemis didn’t know where you’d gone, do you have any idea how worried he’s been—?!”

“Maybe if you let her get a word in edgeways, she’d tell us, Rei-chan,” said Ami, putting her hands over her face and rubbing at the skin under her eyes. “She’s alive and she seems fine, so there’s no need to worry anymore.”

“If only it were that simple,” Rei muttered.

Minako decided to ignore that comment. “Where’s Mako-chan?” she asked, glancing around and seeing that their other friend was not in the room, either as Jupiter or her civilian self.

“Making brownies in the kitchen. She decided it was better than tearing the stuffing out of all our punching bags,” Ami explained.

Minako nodded. It made sense. “Then I’ll just go and let her know I’m alive. Hope you don’t mind, Rei-chan.”

Rei turned away. Her whole posture radiated disapproval and anger but she couldn’t protest. Minako touched Ami on the shoulder as she walked by and Ami briefly put her own hand on top. It was a small gesture but it reassured Minako all the same. She knew that meant that she could count on Ami when the truth came out. She didn’t intend to hide it: they’d discussed that already. Hiding it had not done them much good last time and she didn’t think she would be able to do it again even if she wanted to. She was skilled at hiding sadness, not happiness: she knew that Makoto would probably sense something was up as soon as they saw each other and then the shit would really hit the fan.

She could smell the baking before she even reached the kitchen corridor. By the time she found the door, her mouth was watering, despite the large breakfast she’d eaten at Kunzite’s place (in bed of course). She pushed open the door without knocking.

“Mako-chan…”

“Minako-chan!” Arms grabbed her and hugged her, almost crushing her ribs. “I was beginning to think the worst!”

“I didn’t mean to make any of you worry,” Minako said, patting Makoto’s back. “I was just so angry…” And hurt, she added silently. And let’s not forget the centuries of frustrated lust.

“I know,” Makoto said, hugging her once more for good measure and then letting her go. “Do you think you’re the only one? I mean, I could have punched Endymion! I almost did, but you were gone by then… so I decided to come down here. Nothing like throwing dough to make you feel better. The first batch is done if you’d like some.”

Minako nodded and sat down at the small kitchen table. Makoto placed the tray of brownies before her and Minako took one, sighing in pleasure as the taste of chocolate filled her mouth. She could feel Makoto watching her, looking her over, so she took her time.

“This is so good,” she remarked, apropos of nothing. It was a nervous habit but she couldn’t seem to stop herself.

“Minako-chan…”

“I’m not saying that this situation is a good thing, but you should channel your anger into cooking more often, Mako-chan, this is…”

“Minako-chan, why are you wearing that dress?”

“This?” Minako glanced down at herself. She’d almost forgotten what she was wearing. Then she remembered watching Kunzite’s hands slip underneath the hem last night. Her body pulsed with desire and she swallowed hard, trying to disguise the sudden arousal. Unfortunately, this meant that she spent the next five minutes coughing like a chain smoker. Makoto bolted from the table and filled a glass with water. Minako nodded her thanks and drank all of it. Note to self: avoid thinking about Kunzite when eating, if possible. “This dress?” she repeated, her voice slightly croaky. “It was the easiest to put on and I wanted to taunt him.” So far, so truthful.

“Taunt him?” Makoto repeated, frowning. “With what? Your body?”

Minako rolled her eyes. “Obviously.” Then she remembered that their relationship had been a secret and blushed.

Makoto stared at her. “Minako-chan, I knew that there was something going on back then but I didn’t realise…” She rubbed her hands over her face in a gesture similar to Ami’s. “Well, you probably didn’t want me to know and it doesn’t matter now. Did it work? The dress, I mean?”

“Oh yes,” Minako said quietly. “It worked.” She ate the rest of the brownie and stood up. “Look, let’s go back upstairs. If I’m going to tell the truth, I want the others to hear it as well.”

Makoto stood up, rather pale. “Minako-chan, he didn’t… he didn’t try and force you to do anything, did he?”

Minako almost laughed at the irony, because she would have done anything for Kunzite last night if it involved sex, absolutely anything, and she’d made sure he knew that. A lot of men would have taken advantage of such eager submission, and she had wondered if he might be one of them, given some of her memories, but he had stated that he was not in the mood to play games, even sexual ones. More proof that he was still the same honorable man she remembered, even if he didn’t believe it. “No, Mako-chan, he didn’t force me to do anything,” she replied. But you might wish he had after I tell you what happened.

Makoto nodded, looking relieved, and they went back to Rei and Ami. They had obviously been talking because Rei seemed a little calmer. She was still angry, but the fire was now under control. “So? Where were you?”

“I went to see Kunzite,” Minako said, not bothering to lie, or even play for time.

Both Ami and Rei sat bolt upright, as if she’d given them electric shocks.

“You went where?!” Ami cried.

“You went to see him?!” Rei exclaimed at the same time.

“Yes, I went to see Kunzite.” Minako sat down and crossed her legs loosely. She ached from last night but it was just the right side of sore. “He is my opposite after all. I couldn’t very well ignore him. I needed to find out what was going on and discuss some issues with him.” Principally his feelings for me and if we could continue where we’d left off. Both were satisfactorily resolved, you’ll be unhappy to hear.

“Issues,” Rei repeated, her eyes narrowing. “What sort of issues?”

“Well, the obvious ones, Rei-chan.” Minako rolled her eyes. “Do you really need me to elaborate?”

“Yes,” Rei said, short and unfriendly.

Ami cleared her throat. “I think Rei-chan’s worried that you might be… that your past association might have influenced you.”

“Ami-chan, if we’re going to talk about this, we might as well be straight with each other, ne? Euphemisms aren’t going to work. I didn’t have an ‘association’, I had an affair. Sexual liaisons, if you want me to be more accurate. And I don’t regret any of it.”

Both Ami and Rei went bright red, but for different reasons. Makoto spoke before they could recover. “We’re not asking you to feel ashamed about the past, Minako-chan,” she said. “We’re asking you to try and be objective about what’s happening here. I know that you must have been… that you really cared about Kunzite back then, or you wouldn’t have been so eager to meet with him. But you can’t ignore what happened. He betrayed Endymion, they all did. He’s not the man you knew.”

“But that’s just it, Mako-chan, he’s exactly the man I knew. That’s why I disappeared, because I wasn’t just angry at him or Endymion: I was angry at myself for not realising this sooner. There were things we needed to discuss that I couldn’t discuss with any of you and I’m sorry if I scared you, but it’s done now.”

“You discussed the issues with him?” Ami asked, looking a little more hopeful.

“Yes.”

“All night?” Rei’s voice was heavy with sarcasm.

“Basically, yes. Although we didn’t talk about them all the time, of course.”

“Then why didn’t you take the time to at least contact us and let us know that you were safe?” Ami demanded.

“Because I knew that you would come and get me and I didn’t want that,” Minako said honestly, bracing herself. “I just wanted it to be him and me, for one night, just one night. Otherwise I could never have sorted it out.”

“You’re talking about him like… like you’re friends,” Rei said in disgust. “Like you actually wanted to spend time with him.”

“That’s because I did want to spend time with him, Rei-chan.”

“But why?” Ami asked, bewildered. “This is a man with a history of betrayal and violence, a history of being influenced by evil. He betrayed you, he tried to use violence against you and the rest of us. How can you just set that aside?”

Minako swallowed. Here it was. “Because I love him,” she said quietly.

All three of them stared at her and she stared back. She wanted to beg them to understand. She couldn’t help feeling like this. The longing was as powerful and irresistible as ever. If she’d tried to resist, she would have gone mad, she knew it. And it wasn’t in her nature to resist desire, anyway.

“You can’t,” Ami said blankly. “You don’t know him. You’re… you’re just in shock. We all are.”

“I love him,” Minako repeated. “I always have. I can’t help it.”

“I don’t believe you,” Rei said, her voice so calm that Minako automatically braced herself. “You’ve always been a sentimentalist, but this… this is ridiculous. Ami-chan’s right: you don’t love him. You were in love with Kunzite and now that you know this man is his reincarnation, you’ve decided that you’re in love with him, just like you used to declare each new boy was your ‘first love’. You’re just pushing all this sentiment onto him, using him as a prop.”

Minako winced. Rei knew her so well, knew exactly how to hurt her, how to create those doubts in her mind. But Makoto was staring at her.

“My God,” she said in a whisper. “You slept with him, didn’t you? That’s why you disappeared so quickly. That’s why nobody could find you or get in contact with you. You spent the whole night in his bed.”

Minako let out a breath. “Yes,” she said. “Yes, I did. And I loved every second of it.”

For a moment, nobody spoke. It might not have been so bad if she hadn’t added the last sentence, but Minako knew that it had been necessary. They might have clung to some illusion of rape otherwise, and she would not let them do that. They needed to know that she’d gone to him out of her own free will and had a night of pleasure, not pain.

Then Rei stood up, her eyes deadly cold. “We’re going to see Serenity,” she said. “Now.”

Makoto looked at her sharply. “No, Rei-chan, this isn’t –”

“She needs to know we have a traitor in our midst.”

“A traitor?” Ami frowned. “You can’t call Minako-chan a traitor.”

Rei looked at her, her face contemptuous. “She slept with our enemy, what else do you suggest I call her? I doubt he would have paid, even if she remembered to ask.”

Minako didn’t even realised she’d moved until she found herself standing before Rei, arm raised, her palm tingling with the slap she’d just dealt her best friend.

“Take me to Serenity, by all means,” she said. “But don’t insult me or Kunzite by bringing money into this, Rei-chan. It was an equal exchange and I gave myself freely… but I know you can’t understand that.” And she turned away, trying hard to rein in the rage that was filling her body. It wasn’t the insult to herself that she minded, she’d expected that, but the implication that Kunzite would do such a thing. She heard Makoto and Ami confer in low voices but the words were indistinct because of the buzzing in her ears. Then Makoto spoke.

“We’ll take you to see Serenity, Minako-chan.”

Minako nodded. She was grateful that Makoto had taken charge. She knew that Ami would be too upset by what had happened and Rei… Rei wasn’t in a fit state to do much at the moment except insult her.

Serenity was in the letter room, going through official correspondence, when Makoto opened the door. She did not seem surprised that all four of her guards marched into the room and asked for a private audience, nor that Rei was glaring daggers at Minako or that Makoto was holding Minako by the arm, almost like a prisoner. When the officials had left the room, she clasped her hands on the desk and looked at them calmly.

“What is it?”

“Tell her what you’ve done!” Rei spat at Minako.

“Rei-chan, would you please control yourself?” Makoto snapped.

“Me?! You’re telling me to control myself when she’s the one who’s been spreading her legs –!”

“I assume this is about the shitennou?” Serenity asked, silencing them both.

Ami stepped into the breach. “Minako-chan just came back, Serenity. And… and she told us where she’s been.”

Serenity looked at Minako, as if they were the only two people in the room. “I did try and reassure them, Minako-chan,” she said. “But they just wouldn’t believe me.”

Then Minako knew two things: Serenity had guessed about her and Kunzite, and she’d been the only one of the group who wasn’t worried by last night’s disappearance. The relief was so overwhelming that Minako almost fell on her knees. She swallowed hard.

“You knew?”

“I had my suspicions,” Serenity replied. “And when Artemis couldn’t find you… I drew my own conclusions.”

Minako closed her eyes. It was so much easier when you didn’t have to explain the background. “I went to Kunzite,” she said. “I spent the night with him.”

“All night?” Serenity questioned. She seemed to be almost smiling. “Was it that bad?”

“Yes,” Minako said honestly. “I couldn’t keep away… I hadn’t been there for half an hour before we…”

“She’s a traitor,” Rei said baldly.

Minako could almost hear Makoto and Ami wince. Serenity just blinked.

“I beg your pardon, Rei-chan?”

“She slept with a man who betrayed his own master and was nearly responsible for destroying the world. And now she’s saying that she loves him.” Minako could feel Rei’s gaze. It was like cold needles in her skin. “She’s betrayed us all, Serenity.”

Serenity sighed. “And you accuse me of being simplistic.”

Rei’s head whipped round. She stared at her queen in complete bewilderment. “What?”

Serenity spread her hands. “Kunzite is not our enemy any more, Rei-chan. He was our enemy, yes. In the past. The past is gone and there is nothing he can do to change it. Minako-chan did not sleep with him while he was our enemy. In fact, she had a great deal to do with his death, as I recall. She has been perfectly loyal to us. Last night, she discovered that the man she loved and lost was back from the dead. Hence my lack of surprise when she disappeared. Of course, I had no proof but I was almost certain that she’d gone to see him. All I could do was hope that she would manage to lay the ghosts of the past in some way. She’s been trying to do that for so long but she didn’t have all the right instruments. And you seem to be forgetting that Minako-chan is the senshi of love. Given the choice between loving someone and hating them, which emotion is she going to choose? She does not thrive on strife like you do, Rei-chan.” Serenity got up and moved around the desk. She framed Minako’s face with both hands. “And how can I condemn her for going to her lover when I did exactly the same thing so many years ago? I went to Mamo-chan, even though I knew he might be an enemy, even though I knew all of you disapproved of our relationship: I went to him because I could not help myself, because in my mind there was no other option. I know what it is like to be ruled by love and desire and I am not going to punish Minako-chan for following her heart. That would make me a hypocrite.”

Minako wanted to weep. She had never been so grateful for Serenity’s iconic qualities of mercy and forgiveness. She had been most worried about Serenity’s reaction and to know that her queen understood… She closed her eyes, trembling. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you, so much.”

“You… you actually believe she’s in love with this man?!” Rei gasped.

“Has she said she loves him?”

“… yes.”

“But she doesn’t even know him!” Ami protested.

“She’s the senshi of love,” Serenity said reasonably. “She has a lot of experience in this area. I think we can safely trust her opinion, Ami-chan. If she says it’s love, it’s love.” She smiled fondly at her other friend. “Technically, she knows all she needs to know.”

“That’s all very well,” Makoto said, “but what about him? It’s very romantic that Minako-chan’s found her lost love, but love’s a two-way street. Last night… they were both very emotional. Things can change completely the next morning.”

Minako was very glad that she had her back to the other three women, because she was blushing deep red, and she knew that Serenity knew what that meant. A smile lit the other woman’s blue eyes.

“Oh, Minako-chan,” she said, her voice full of affectionate amusement, “you really did have it bad.”

Minako was trying to fight off the memory of how she’d woken Kunzite up and not having much success. Serenity patted her on the shoulder and then pressed the intercom button on her desk. “Mamo-chan,” she said, her tone perfectly normal, “I’m guessing you have Kunzite in there, am I right?”

“Yes, why?”

“Would you two mind coming in here for a moment? There’s a little matter we need to settle.”

There was a small pause and then Endymion spoke again. “Yes, of course. We’ll be there right away.”

Minako felt her heart start to pound. She was going to see him. Then she realised she hadn’t even changed out of her dress; of course, it wasn’t as if she’d been given much of a chance. Still, she felt a little exposed.

“May I go and change?” she asked Serenity. “I won’t be long, I just need to…”

Serenity nodded, giving her a small smile. “Of course. I understand.“

“I’ll go with you,” Ami said, following her out of the room. Minako didn’t protest. If she had to have someone accompany her, Ami was the best choice at the moment. They walked silently until they reached Minako’s rooms, when Ami cleared her throat and said, “I’ll wait outside.”

Minako nodded. “Ami-chan…”

“You should change.”

"I’m sorry I worried you.”

Ami looked at her for a moment and then looked away. “At least you’re still alive,” she said.

It wasn’t forgiveness but it was better than insults or mockery. Minako wasted no time in changing: trousers for ease of movement, short-sleeved shirt for the same reason. Of course, they flattered her figure as well: she hadn’t forgotten that he’d be in the room when she returned.

The walk back was just as silent. Minako knew that she had to say something but she had no idea what: Ami was locked away from her, hidden inside her shell. In the end, Minako decided that actions spoke louder than words, so she put a hand on Ami’s shoulder and squeezed it briefly before going inside. She felt Ami freeze in shock but there was no time to explain: everyone was waiting. She pushed open the door with a bright smile and said, “Sorry to keep you waiting!”

And there he was, turning towards her, sharp grey slacks and cream wool rollneck outlining his body. Minako drew in a breath. For a moment, the world disappeared and it was just them, looking at each other. Minako felt the morning’s desire sweep over her, pulsing and undeniable. She could never have stayed away. Then he turned away and looked at Serenity, releasing her.

“You wished to speak to me, ma’am?” he asked politely.

“Yes. I’m sorry to interfere in your private life, Kunzite, but the girls need your solemn assurance that you were not just using Minako-chan last night.”

Kunzite raised his eyebrows and looked at the ‘girls’. Even Rei was red at the way Serenity had put the issue. Minako had a terrifying urge to giggle and barely managed to control herself. She heard Endymion clear his throat and guessed he was having the same problem.

“That depends on whether they believe me,” Kunzite pointed out, still watching the senshi.

“They have to,” Minako said, surprising them all. “They won’t have any choice.” She crossed to him and slipped her hand around his arm, looking up at him. “I already told them my part.”

“Ah,” he said, nodding. “That explains the… hostility.” He cleared his throat. “I do not object to stating that I am perfectly serious about Minako-chan.”

“She said that she was in love with you,” Rei stated and Minako wanted to hit her. “We need to know if you feel the same way.”

“He said he’s serious, do you really believe he would go back on his word?” Endymion asked.

Rei laughed, her eyes cold as winter. “He’s done it before. Just because you forgave him doesn’t mean that I have to.”

Minako was gripping Kunzite’s arm tightly so she didn’t fly at Rei. “He never did anything to you. He hurt me and Endymion. And we have both forgiven him. Because we both love him. And we don’t need to hear him say it…”

“Yes,” Kunzite said, starling her into silence. “I feel the same way. Is that enough for you, Mars?”

Rei stared at him for a moment, mouth open, as surprised as Minako. Then she shut it, her eyes narrowing slightly. “I suppose it has to be enough, doesn’t it?” she said, folding her arms. “I can’t exactly accuse you of being a liar in front of these two people.”

“You could, but it wouldn’t do you any good.” Kunzite looked at Ami and Makoto. “Are you two satisfied?”

Makoto shrugged. “There’s not much you can do to prove your words other than stick around, but yeah, I’m satisfied. For the moment.”

“I don’t think Minako-chan would feel this way about you if you weren’t serious about her,” Ami said quietly. “She’s been hurt too many times to risk this much on a man who didn’t care about her. Yes. I believe you.”

Minako let out a breath she hadn’t even realised she’d been holding. She wanted to hug Ami and cry on her shoulder, but she knew that would have to wait. The situation was delicate enough. For now, she could rest and enjoy this small victory they had earned.

“WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!”

She turned her head. Artemis was standing in the doorway, his fur bristling with anger. Minako sighed.

It was going to be one of those days.


DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters. They belong to the marvellous Naoko Takeuchi.