Absolution by Lillie_Bell

Mizuno Ami

Absolution: Mizuno Ami

The blue-haired girl gazed across the Juuban campus before heading into the school. She kept her head ducked low, trying to blend in with the sidewalk more than the rustling student body around her. Having recently transferred, she tried to stay inconspicuous as she made her way down the hall. She knew this school, as the others, would soon be brimming with the news of the transfer student and her credentials. Unfortunately, these tended to bring unwanted attention to the shy girl.

The common misconceptions, the kind ones, were of her spending all of her time studying, rarely sleeping. The cruel ones said she cheated and was really a fake. While Ami did spend more than the healthy amount of time studying, it was more out of habit than anything else. She had never had any friends and boredom made her anxious, thus her childhood was spent with the books on her mother’s shelves. A passion for learning had sparked in the child and she pursued it with vigor, having nothing else to fill the void of the day before bedtime.

And while the older Ami who stepped lightly through the halls of Juuban continued to enjoy the complexities of math and science, the fervor was no longer there. Somewhere in the last year it had dissipated into nothingness. Now she sat with bated breath, feeling as though suddenly there was more to life than what the books could teach her. Like there was something to experience in this world not explained by theorems and correlations. Immersed in the pages of quantum physics, she realized that the universe, while a mass of calculations, was more than numbers on the page and that some fundamental part of life was missing. Numbers were so unanimated, so objective; they could describe so much but never with excitement or sadness or true feeling. Certainly the universe was more alive than a complex calculation could portray. There was something else to life than what her studies had shown her, Ami was sure of it. Therefore, in true scholarly fashion, she set out on a pilgrimage to discover just what in life she had been missing, and she had a feeling it was in the exact area she lacked any skill: socializing.

The first step was to change schools. Her previous school already had its cliques and predefined groups. There was nothing to gain from trying to befriend those who already did not like her. So, in pursuit of knowledge and a way to fill this sudden void that had cracked open with her epiphany, the shy teen set out for Juuban. As she roamed the halls, she was certain of her choice. Something was waiting for her here, she knew. Her journey had ended; the answer was within her reach.

Two weeks passed and nothing spectacular happened. She took her notes and read the lectures and books to pass the time before she could fall into bed and sleep until the morning. She was getting used to the classrooms and where everyone ate at lunch, who was popular and who was not. She had met a few people as well, though they had quickly turned out to either want her help studying or to know where to find copies of the tests. It seemed transferring did nothing to improve her mission. Perhaps she truly was destined for a cloistered life, being incapable of breaking free of the mold she had lived in for fourteen years.

Blowing her hair out of her eyes, Ami made her way down the hall, convinced that she only existed in the world to study. This wasn’t a life, she knew, but it was what people expected of her. She wanted to be more than a number at the top of a chart. She had already decided the universe could not be described as a number; she did not believe her life could either. Mizuno Ami was a person, too; she wanted a future and friends—to smile with people, not at the many books that kept her company at night—just like any other girl.

And as Ami walked down the hall, head bowed under the weight of trying to be what was expected of her but wanting to break free of such an ignorant construct, she felt an impact from the side. Without realizing it, she started tipping and falling to the floor. Her disinterested blue eyes watched as the cold tiles came closer and closer, her body cascading with little enthusiasm. For a moment she entertained the idea of letting her body hit the floor at its current speed. Aside from velocity formulae, she nearly smirked at feeling the pain that would press upon her body. After all, she could not calculate a bruise, only the likelihood of one.

Her body, seeming to realize her hesitation, automatically splayed out her hands in front of her as if to scold her masochistic thoughts. However, before she could ponder this new variable, a hand was in her vision. Following that hand up its arm and across the familiar school uniform gave her the face of a blonde-headed girl. The girl laughed slightly at Ami’s bewildered gaze.

“I’m really sorry,” she replied lamely, her other hand pressed against the nape of her neck. When Ami remained on the floor, looking completely awestruck, she asked: “You didn’t think I was going to knock you down and just leave you, did you?”

Ami pressed a hand to her cheeks as they turned red. That was her exact thought. Most people didn’t even give her a glance any more, either too competitive in their studies or too stuck up to think her important enough to warrant one. The blonde chuckled awkwardly at the silent girl. “Well, I’ve got to get going; my mother will be expecting me home soon.”

Ami nodded and pulled herself off the floor. She reached for her bag as the blonde turned away from her. The girl smiled over her shoulder, sending a cheerful blue-eyed wink. “I’m Usagi, maybe we can eat lunch together?”

Ami simply nodded, her mouth open slightly. Maybe friendship was not impossible for an outcast like her after all. The blonde left, waving at the girl frozen in place. Ami’s cheeks burned with the embarrassment from such attention. Usagi was bursting with enthusiasm, a complete opposite to Mizuno’s collected, philosophical demeanor. They were nearly polar opposites. Ami smiled; they were a perfect match. No statistic would have placed them together, nor any aptitude test, personality test, or horoscope. No, the universe itself could never have placed them together logically, save as an anomaly.

A true smile graced her features as she hurried to cram school. Mizuno Ami was no longer a number on a board. She knew as she felt the wind blow across her face that Usagi could help her on her journey. She would no longer be defined by her studies and her intellect, but by who she was. It was time for the true Mizuno Ami to shine.

An hour later showed her with much less enthusiasm. She had started into her lesson realizing she lost the mandatory diskette. Most likely, it was on the floor of Juuban in the vicinity of her earlier accident. Her mind was beginning to drift. The world had righted itself and she felt idle sitting in a stuffy classroom. A small piece of the puzzle had opened and she wanted to crack the next part. Her mind reeled at what the next riddle could be and how to solve it. Her mind was spinning in infinite loops, making her body fidgety with its continuous motion.

Ami was startled from her musings when the monitors around her began to flicker. A fog had settled in the room while she had been staring out the window. The students suddenly started to slump forward as the fog thickened. She felt the hair on her arms and legs prickling with the cold and a sudden awareness. Somehow, she sensed an unnatural quality about the fog and it frightened her. Ami, who had always felt the most secure when surrounded by water, be it a pool, ocean, or low-lying cloud, felt a shiver go up her spine as the room disappeared into a white haze.

She quickly stood, her chair falling to the ground with a dull thud, attempting to assess the situation. She saw her fellow classmates on the floor. Her ice blue eyes looked questioningly at the screen below her. As she stared at the dark monitor as if it would confess its secrets, a disembodied hand shot out from the haze and grabbed her around the neck. It turned the girl to face it and Ami saw a pair of black, beady eyes staring into her own. If possible, her body temperature dropped a few degrees from simply looking at the creature holding her suspended above the ground. For a moment she wondered if the chilling feeling cascading across her body was fear.

It seemed to cackle something before shoving her face into the monitor. The screen flickered on and began flashing. Ami closed her eyes, trying to avoid whatever it had done to her peers. The creature easily pressed her face closer to the monitor. Ami gritted her teeth, as she felt the glass begin to crack beneath her cheek. A small trickle of blood traced across her jaw line and dripped off her chin. With the water in the air from the fog the electric components of the monitor would electrocute her once they were exposed.

Sweat dripped down the back of her neck as she felt the energy in her body being pulled away. It felt as though her blood was flowing backwards, making her both light-headed and nauseous. With fleeting energy, she realized this was the fate of her fellow students.

Ami continued to fight as the creature caused the pulsing light of the monitor to go at an alarming rate, pulling her energy away until her body felt disjointed. She could feel a severing of body and mind, and knew that soon she would be dead. She closed her eyes, falling gently to float in the tide that flowed through her mind.

“Intellectual energy seems as though it’s the most promising,” a voice sounded through the water running in her ears.

“These children who spend their lives to achieve better scores—they are without a doubt the best for collecting energy. No others are as vengeful and cruel, none as competitive as these. They were truly the best target. For once you made a good decision, Jadeite,” another said.

Ami winced. She could never remember wishing evil on those who performed better than she did. Certainly her other peers did not as well. These people who attacked them, whoever they were, did not understand. Studying was her aptitude.

But life was more than learning. More than books and figures and calculations; her peers were more than that. She couldn’t remember when she had changed to being defined by her ability to learn instead of just considering it a talent. These people could not understand the need to have an identity when none was available. It was truly an isolated world for them.

These two men had made the same mistake. They saw her the same as everyone else: the smart person who has nothing troubling in life because she has it all planned out in her head. And she has the smarts to make it happen. But for diligent students there was no time for anything else. These people, their attackers, could never understand the loneliness that came from studying. She had spent many nights wondering if she got another top score if her mother would congratulate her and spend a few precious hours with her. That was the only time they made cookies any more.

These teens were the same. They were all the same: just looking for love the only way they knew how. Maybe it was not the best way, but it was all they could do. These men had put a stop to that. The thought infuriated her. Never before had she felt so bitter at the world than she did at these men who could never understand her. The loneliness, anger, and general distaste of her life rose in her mind and suddenly she was sounding a battle cry.

Mizuno Ami would prove them all wrong. She clenched her fist, the tide around her swirling with the fierce resolve of her soul. In the whirlpool around her she felt something ancient and strong. Without hesitation, she grabbed it and squeezed, determined to show the world her true self. Iridescent blue light exploded around her, enveloping her soul and body, pressing them together until they fused once more. As she felt the tingling sensation of blood running through her veins once more she was neither frightened nor surprised to find herself encircled by a ring of water. It seemed natural, as normal as the ocean that sounded through her ears and the thin layer of ice cast across her skin.

Her body, shining in intense blue light, turned to the youma behind her. She felt no remorse as she raised her hand. The circling water flowed helically around her extended arm and into the youma. She watched with dispassionate eyes as the water twisted into its chest like a drill, dissipating only when it met the wall. The youma burst apart and the fog cleared as the stolen energy flowed back into the lifeless bodies strewn about the room. As the surrounding light diminished, her cold eyes looked around. The two men were gone.

Feeling exhaustion from the ordeal, she quickly leapt out of the window. As she made her way to her apartment only then did she realize a white bodysuit that had materialized upon her. The small blue skirt and bow waved in the wind. This, too, somehow felt right. She knew that this moment was what she had been waiting for. This transformation was the key to solving the emptiness in her soul that caused her restlessness. This, and Usagi.

The mysteries of Tsukino Usagi would come to her later in the night. When the windows were black and the room filled with shadows, a life’s worth of memories filled her teenage mind. The coverlet fell to the floor as the girl continued to fight with a barrage of images connected and yet unconnected with this world. The full life of Sailor Mercury, the High Princess of Mercury, came to an end in the dreams of Mizuno Ami as her sweat-soaked body lurched forward from her mattress. The water on her skin instantly froze as the last few memories before death trickled across her unseeing eyes. Her frozen, chapped lips parted as her eyes focused on the black night, only possible when the moon was in its repose. Only one word fell into that fathomless darkness.

“Serenity.”


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