Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon, which belongs to Naoko Takeuchi
~*~*~*~*~*~
Turn Around
Sailor Moon fanfiction by Vayleen
~*~*~*~*~*~
It was a silent ride. She wasn’t prone to fidgeting so there was no tapping of her foot, no drumming of her fingernails on the window. She wasn’t prone to conversation, and Sato-san liked to keep to himself anyway, so they both kept their thoughts to themselves. Not like her father’s other driver, or the woman he recently hired to clean the house. They were always trying to make small talk, a mentally taxing pastime for Rei, who had to make a point to do it anyway out of politeness. But Sato-san was older, more serious, and Rei usually made it a point to request his services when she knew she had to visit him. The drives were usually long and she had a lot to think about. Conversation would get in the way.
Twice a year she made this journey across the city of Tokyo. Once on her birthday and once on the anniversary of her mother’s death. Her father insisted on it. Family was family and the Hinos had to keep up appearances.
Today is was her fourteenth birthday. She had just finished school and was still wearing her uniform but had chosen to wear more practical shoes afterwards. Experience had taught her that much.
The limo came to a halt. Sato-san got out and came around to open her door. Rei paused a moment, thinking a thousand things all in one second about the task ahead, and got out of the vehicle.
“Will that be all, Rei-san?” the chauffer asked her.
“Thank-you, Sato-san,” Rei answered absently. “Please return early tomorrow to take me to school.”
“Very well.”
Rei waited until the limousine was out of site before turning towards the seemingly endless stone staircase that led to the Hikawa Jinja. Time to get it over with, she thought, before she started to climb.
~*~*~*~*~*~
She found her grandfather was waiting at the front of the shrine. He was humming pleasantly to himself while he swept away the dry leaves and scraps of paper and litter left by some of the shrine’s patrons. Rei paused to watch him a moment. It was ridiculous to be so wary of an old, generally pleasant man. In actuality he was probably the kindest person in her life, maybe the only kind person in her life, but she still dreaded these meetings. Despite his warm eyes and soft smile, Rei felt like she had failed to meet some sort of expectation when she talked with him. There was sadness in the back of his smile that plagued her, that she was being blamed for, and she didn’t know why. So despite his kindness, she would only come twice a year. She could only bear it twice a year.
A sharp caw to her right startled her out of her reverie and caused her grandfather to look up.
“Rei-chan!” he called warmly. He set the broom aside and came up to take one of her hands in both of his. Rei was uncomfortable with more physical contact and her grandfather respected this. “You look even more grown-up this year than last year,” he said pleasantly, squeezing her hand a little.
“I’m a year older, Grandfather,” Rei said, pulling her hand away. “Of course I would.”
Briefly the sadness appeared though his smile never faded, and Rei almost looked away.
“Of course you would,” he echoed. “Well, then. I set out a table by the koi pond out back. It’s a beautiful day and I thought we could watch them as we had tea and talked-“
“It sounds very pleasant,” Rei said.
Cawing again. Persistent cawing that Rei refused to acknowledge.
“Wonder why they always get so worked up whenever you’re around?” her grandfather commented absently as they walked towards the table.
“Nonsense,” Rei said. “They’re just crows.”
But as her grandfather poured the tea and chatted aimlessly about business at the temple, Rei could feel their beady eyes piercing her. She could hear every flutter of their wings as they rustled in the trees, on the roof. She heard every click of their beaks. She hated those little black eyes, always staring at her. They’re just crows, she repeated to herself. But at the same time she felt the same way around them as she did around her grandfather. They were pleading with her with their black eyes. She missed the boat, she lost the path. Took the wrong fork in the road, now what? Turn around, turn around, turn around.
Stop staring at me! she wanted to shout at them. But they were just crows.
“Rei-chan?” her grandfather questioned. Rei looked over. He must have just asked her a question.
“Sorry, Grandfather. I lost my train of thought.”
He smiled at her again. Same hidden sadness. She failed at some hidden test again. Same old, same old. “I was just asking you how school was going this semester.”
Rei pressed her lips into a thin line. I’m still getting top scores. I’m president of the music club. Sister Meredith asked me to organize the culture festival again next year. “Fine,” she answered.
They were interrupted by the prayer bell. There were usually a handful of shrine patrons throughout the day but Rei chose this moment to distract herself from her grandfather’s stare and looked across the plaza to see who it was.
It was a girl dressed in a white and blue school uniform with a big red bow and a pretty broach. She had large tears streaming shamelessly down her cheeks, making some strands of her long, blond pigtails stick to her cheeks. The redness of her face and eyes made their color shockingly blue, almost electric. Under normal circumstances, Rei would have found this outward display of emotion disdainful. For some reason, this particular display, this particular girl, was pulling at something inside her. Like a chord in her chest was suddenly plucked, forming a lump in her throat and a weight in her body from its resonance.
I missed the boat, I lost the path. Turn around, turn around, turn around.
“Poor thing,” her grandfather commented as the girl turned to leave. “A shame to see the young cry, isn’t it?” He said this like Rei was an adult. Perhaps because she acted more like an adult than a teenager. Maybe she did because that’s what her father expected. No time for fun, no time for games and shopping and dating. Work, go to school and pay attention to who’s watching at all times.
“It’s almost closing time,” her grandfather commented, looking up at the sky. “Let me finish sweeping and then I can start on dinner tonight. We can finish talking later so why don’t you get settled, Rei-chan.”
“You should hire someone to help you,” Rei commented as she watched her grandfather slowly get up and walk back towards the broom at the front of the temple.
“No, no,” he said. “Maybe if the right person comes along but I don’t worry about it. I’m fine on my own.”
Rei started to pick up the cups on the table. A thought nagged at her. A wistful, fleeting thought. She thought about that Hikawa Jinja. She thought about the buildings, the serenity, the simplicity. No servants. No public expectations. Nothing fancy.
“Grandfather,” Rei called as she pushed the thought away. “Let me finish the sweeping tonight. Why don’t you go meditate in front of the fire for awhile and I’ll find you after I clean up.”
Her grandfather smiled at her. A different, rare smile that showed an emotion unlike sadness in the back of its warmth. Pride? Love? Thankfulness?
“Thank-you, Rei-chan. I think that would be good for me,” he said as Rei took the broom.
Rei watched him go. As he disappeared inside the temple, she heard the soft cooing of the crows in the trees, another rare sound. She looked up at them. They fluttered their wings and clicked their beaks, making a cooing, gurgling sounds she hardly ever heard from these particular crows. Rei almost smiled.
She started to sweep the leaves away. And she couldn’t help but smile. A little.
Turn around.
~*~*~*~*~*~
The End
