As most marriages are between high-status families of this day and age, our marriage was arranged. We, inexperienced children, could not be trusted to know what would be the best and most advantageous arrangement. Love was never an explicit requirement, just a by-product, if we were lucky. I heard about him long before I actually saw his face. This gave my imagination ample time to flourish.
When my beauty began to blossom, a court painter was sent to record my loveliness as a memento for my suitor and proof of my worthiness to my future in-laws, the king and queen of the Golden Kingdom. Oh, I was so nervous and worried. Could a painting ever capture what they wished to see? Nay, could I ever hope to achieve or embody their desires for their son’s future wife? There was little I could do, but I took some comfort in the knowledge that soon his painting would also be sent to my parents and me.
That day came and went. The painting was placed in an advantageous place within the manor. Everyone, including me, needed to realize the importance of my future husband. His painting served as a constant reminder to my future. His eyes seemed to find a way into my soul and my heart. Sometimes, I imagined I could feel his face against my cheek and his lips against mine. Oh, how little I knew of the consequences of love…
As I grew older, our eventual meeting could no longer be stalled. The day was held in prominence and I, oh, I dreaded and anticipated every hour as it loomed closer. All of my hopes, all of my dreams, everything would be decided by our meeting. Nothing would seem like a fantasy, it would all seem too real.
Then, it happened. We met for the first time. I am not entirely certain what I expected from that first meeting, but I knew exactly what would happen. Every action had been pre-planned by our parents. When he took my hand in his for the first time and placed the ring upon my finger, I looked desperately in his eyes for something unexpected. Both he and I found it, that something that could not be planned by our parents.
Although the planned day seemed far away, every day was spent in preparation for our union. Of course, there were the arrangements for the event, but there were also political and economically arrangements to be considered. Our union would also unify two lands, two cultures. We spent little time in each other’s company, but what little we did receive was enough.
I learned things about him that a painting could have never taught me. Paintings do not speak, paintings do not touch, and paintings do not feel. Love, where once duty only lay, was beginning to blossom. Understanding and appreciation began to thrive.
Then, something changed. At first, I thought perhaps the change was caused by a sense of duty or some other feeling I could not comprehend. No, it was not that. That feeling we had both shared changed him or… at least I thought we both shared.
Love for another woman.
Surely, our arranged union could not be allowed to end so soon before the very day we would become man and wife! But… She had more power than I could have ever dreamed of. The moon, no, all of the planets and the stars were at her side. Anything she wanted would be hers. Time was also on her side. My Endmyion, please, don’t leave me for her.
As the days passed, I could not tell if our union was closer or further away then ever before. Of course, the physical calendar progressed.
One night as I watched my love torn away from me by the moon, a voice came to me. The voice did not promise great power, but rather a chance to leave things, as they should be, as they were meant to be. If I accepted Metalia’s strength and wisdom, fate would not be changed by the power of the moon. I was hesitant at first, because surely the princess of the moon could not intervene in a union planned since birth? She was still only a child, blissfully ignorant.
The power of that voice grabbed a hold of my doubt, as if it were a chain around my neck. Before I could even consider my own desires, I had laid waste to several kingdoms and destroyed all that I had once held dear. As a power much stronger than my own washed over me, as I bathed in a purifying, silver light, I wondered what had become of me? How could a maiden’s hopes, dreams, and desires become so corrupted? In the end, fate had been changed and my love never came to be realized.
Was… Was it ever love? Did I ever truly hold Endymion’s heart or had my desires blinded me? Perhaps, my dividing line between love and obsession had never been clear.
