An unsteady hand made its way towards his chest. He brushed his fingertips across the engravings as if dusting off the cobwebs of time. The ancient armor felt smooth and hard to the touch, tangible proof his eyes weren’t deceiving him. He could feel the tug of the powerful weapon at his side, its shining hilt glistening in the light of early evening. He had worn this armor in many battles in the past and in the present, but it somehow felt like it always belonged to someone else, that at those times he was someone else. Now, for the first time in ages, he knew it was his own. Yet he could only muse on the already overwhelming feelings fluttering through his mind when something else then caught his eye.
She turned towards him, her long flowing white dress shimmering against the backdrop of velvet night. She raised her hand to his chiseled face -- her touch, bringing with it the weight of a thousand years of pure devotion. Love and hope, her eyes that held countless memories deep as the boundless blue of the ocean they mirrored. He found himself lost in those waves, his being awash amidst the endless surf of voices and flashes of memory overpowering his senses.
"Mamo-chan...." The simple, loving utterance of his name brought him back to reality, and he smiled at her, grasping her warm hand.
"Usako...."
Something was different within each of them, but at the same time, familiar in every other way. It was as if they had seconds before woken from their nostalgic dreams. But this time, the dreams stayed with them, and were all too real.
Silently, each warrior delved into the catacombs of their minds, reaching out to embrace these new memories and sensations with tentative caresses. The park was quiet and deserted this late at night, and was a perfect magical atmosphere for their strange journey’s end. The moment was utterly broken, however, as something metallic clattered to the ground loudly, its vibrations shaking the earth before climbing up their legs in recurrent waves. She had fallen to her knees, one hand firmly holding the left side of her chest as if struck by a phantom attack, or an old, painful wound suddenly remembered. Her other hand held the hilt of a dazzling sword, one easily recognized from battles long since past. Her long blonde hair made a curtain around her so she had a personal showing of her fears and feelings.
Memories were starting to spiral back into their minds, these liberated from their hazy curtains: balls, battles, endless daily training sessions and lazy summer days. Secrets they had shared and tears shed -- everything all the way to their last night during the Silver Millennium. She recalled the worst of those days.
They had died protecting their princess and their queen. Some of their attacker’s familiar faces twisted with hate, whilst others were nameless villains bent on their destruction. One by one, they had fallen in battle. She had been the last soldier left standing, forced to watch as each of her friends and colleagues were murdered. She had watched helplessly as their enemies took pleasure in their demise. She had felt the fear and anger rise within her as the last of them came for her. She remembered the pain of betrayal as well. Eternal Sailor Venus sighed, a name stuck in the back of her throat.
The swish of cool fabric reached her ears and she looked up to find eyes full of understanding gazing upon her. She could see the difference in those eyes; two separate halves finally merging into one being – a life almost fulfilled and complete. Why did she feel so empty then?
"Minako…?"
"No, I'm all right," the orange clad Senshi replied, laughing away her tears, and scrambled to her feet once more. “I was just surprised by everything, that’s all.”
"Are you sure?"
Her grip tightened appreciably around the hilt of her sword, but she kept her face clear. "Yes."
"All these memories," Mercury commented, shaking her head. "They're already so overwhelming."
"And this power." Jupiter held out her gloved hands, and the others watched as bright spheres of electricity formed in each palm. "It's incredible. We don’t have to summon it anymore; it’s literally at our fingertips." As she said this the spheres crackled out of existence abruptly, and she sighed. “I can’t hold it for long yet, though.”
Luna and Artemis finally came to join them, spewing out questions and concerns. They began to talk excitedly with one another, ancient memories shared between each of them. Some brought laughter while some memories brought tears. A few of the Senshi remained quiet however, silently brooding over revelations of those times when life had been so different. It was late in the night before they decided to part ways.
"We probably shouldn't linger here too long. People might see us," Luna put in.
"You're right. We should get ourselves some much-needed rest. A lot has been placed upon our shoulders this night; we shouldn't try to adjust to it all at once."
"Geeze Usagi, you've already begun to sound different."
"Be quiet, Makoto," the blonde queen stuck out her tongue.
"Well, I guess some things never change," Uranus muttered.
Without a word the group de-transformed, their power diminishing in sparkles of colored light. In a rush of wind, silver and gold light traveled from Usagi and Mamoru's feet to their heads, their elegant apparel replaced by their ordinary street clothes.
"Let's meet at the shrine tomorrow. Six o'clock okay for everyone?" Usagi asked, and the group nodded their ascent. "Okay, goodnight guys."
Usagi and Mamoru remained behind until each of their friends disappeared into the night. As the evening grew silent and a sense of calm had re-asserted itself, they turned to each other, holding tightly onto one another’s hands.
She smiled at him. "So that's how it happened."
"What?"
"The first time we met."
He chuckled, bringing her close. "I don't know which I like better. Having you throw a rumpled test paper at my head was quite the classic."
"Mamo-chan...!" She laughed, playfully hitting him.
"Come on." He took her hand in his. "Let's go home."
+++
The sound of laughter filled the hall as the elevator doors opened wide. Hand in hand, they stepped from its quiet looped musical refrain into the silent wing of the apartment block. The short blonde clung to his arm as he fidgeted with the keys, her soft-planted kisses on his neck tickling his skin.
"Usako, what's gotten you all excited?"
"Just some memories," she giggled.
"What are you remembering?" She stood on her tiptoes, leaning towards him, her soft breath and words sending shivers over him. When she was finished, he smirked, quickly opening the door to push her inside.
"Well then, I guess that's a memory I wouldn't mind reliving. How about you...?" he whispered as he grasped her around the waist.
"I guess it would be ok-" Her words whisked away as he swept her off her feet, his mouth finding hers in the dark. His feet barely managed to traverse the lounge room floor as they reached the plush couch where they collapsed in a tangle of limbs as they kissed. He succumbed to memories once more, allowing these to feed his passion for the one woman he’d loved for thousands of years.
Every breath caressed his lips sent tingles all the way to his toes, her soft hands grasping his heart as firmly as she did his clothing. Her sighs grew louder in his ears. But all of a sudden, the moment was shattered. He felt her stiffen beneath him, and a strangled cry passed through her soft lips. Immediately, he released her, moving towards the end of the couch in surprise and concern.
Usagi pressed herself against the couch opposite. Her hands were folded across her chest and horror stormed across her face like the advance of a relentless army, her eyes like dreaded pools filling with tears. It was as if she had seen a terrifying ghost, but she seemed to be looking at nothing in particular.
"Usako…!" He slid across the couch next to her, gently putting his arm around her shaking shoulders. "Usako what's wrong? Tell me what's wrong!"
"She, she-" she chattered, the memories flooding into her head, freezing her heart. His ancient strangled breaths whispered within her ears as the memory, and a witch’s evil laughter echoed inside the cave of her mind.
"She...? Usako...?"
"She killed you!" she screamed, her tears rushing freely from her eyes. "And I-I took your sword and I -- Mamo-chan!"
He held her close as the pain flowed from her in anguished cries, the memories as fresh as the day they happened. She clamped her eyes shut as she placed her head against his chest, trying with all her might to ward the images out of her mind, and the feelings from her heart.
“I always knew it happened, I remembered, but I never felt it! Mamo-chan…it was awful,” she cried between her tears, and gently he caressed her long hair, bringing her closer to him.
"I'm sorry, Usako… I'm sorry," he repeated into her ear, his own tears brimming in his eyes.
+++
The others had no intention of sleeping that night. It is not everyday one remembers the whole former life. The Inners quickly found their way to the shrine, the warm paper walls welcoming them as always. They kept their chatter as low key as possible, but the excitement proved too much to be expressed in idle whispers.
"I can’t believe this happened…” Makoto said. "I was wondering if we would ever reach Eternal, or if it was for Usagi alone. I can feel my power without transforming even more now, but I can’t do more than make some static electricity."
"As Serenity said, it will take a little time to remember everything and adjust to all this. We might have our ultimate powers, but we still don't really know how to use them, and we shouldn’t push ourselves. I’m sure they will come to us like they have before," Ami said.
“Once we're engaged in battle again," Makoto added.
"And how soon will that be…?" Rei asked, and they fell silent, uncertain of the answer. "We still have battles to face, and Usagi is right. Something is coming; I can feel it, like the Earth is already trembling in anticipation. This might be bigger than anything we’ve ever done. Do you think we'll be ready?" Rei asked.
Ami shook her head. "I have no idea. We should be careful, though, I am not sure how this will affect us."
"What do you mean, Ami?" Makoto questioned.
"Well, in the case of 'reincarnation', no one has ever truly remembered their past selves. Some form of enlightenment perhaps, but every memory of their formers lives? We should take things slowly, or it could quite possibly have a negative effect upon our psyche. We might be super heroes, but we're still humans."
"Oh, you think too much, Ami," Makoto waved her hand dismissively. "We have the experience of our past, the strength of our present, and the hope of the future. I think we'll be ready for anything."
"Perhaps you are right, Makoto," Ami smiled. "What do you remember so far?"
They began to discuss the past once again, slowly building the ancient timeline of their history once more. Minako remained silent, however; the bubbling girl replaced by a somber woman. Slowly, she ran her fingers over the clean blade of the sword, eyeing her reflection. Her features had not altered to betray her true feelings, but inside, she felt like a tree filled with ripe fruit, left barren and fruitless as the result of a heavy shaking.
Every dream that felt too real, every feeling of déjà vu, every battle reinforcing her place in the world that she didn’t wish to believe—they were all now reinforced by her growing memories. The others, even with some painful memories remembered, could not yet see how negatively this could affect them. The idea of melding with their past to learn their one, true destiny was appealing, but had they really considered how much the past might override their future? How many rules they may have broken, or how many things they would remember that their ancient queen died wanting them to forget? For them, the past was no longer a guessing game, and there was no avoiding it, no denying things happened the way they had -- only the truth remained. There was no going back.
"How can you guys carry on like this…!" she finally exploded, and three pairs of surprised eyes turned towards her.
"Minako..."
"Our whole world just got flipped upside down and you're talking about it as if they were simple scenes in a movie! They really happened. Now, not just to some girls in the far off past… it happened to us!"
"Minako, it's going to be all right," Rei said, reaching out to touch the other woman’s shoulder, but Minako quickly jerked away. The hand of the priestess, like the last leaf of fall, the last dying hope before the cold of winter descended without chance of reprieve.
"Is that really what you should call me now? Which name is the right one? Who are we now? What have we truly done?" They fell into an uneasy silence, staring at one another, unsure. In the next room, the soft crackle of the fire finally reached their ears, its slow flames dwindling as the wood needed to rejuvenate it grew quite scarce. The fire was quickly being consumed by its own heat, letting fingers of darkness creep onto the walls. So too, did their own dark thoughts emerge as uncertainty moved in like unwanted shadows.
Silently, the blonde stood with her sword firmly in her grasp. She moved passed them -- the doors scratching painfully as she tore them apart and made her way out of the shrine.
+++
She placed her hands against the wall, allowing the steaming water to rush against the skin of her back. After storming out of the shrine, Minako transformed, and ran as fast and as far as she could -- buildings and trees flashed by in an incoherent stream of dark colors as she tried to outrun the memories nipping at her heels. The power within her strides had taken her mind off the events of the night -- at least for a while -- that was until her lungs and legs began to burn with relentless fatigue. Nothing can be outrun forever; she knew it was well as anyone else.
The water was scolding, but she paid it no heed. The jolt from the memories was slowly becoming less traumatic as the hours passed by, but she could not shake off the feeling, nor the bitter taste in her mouth. She knew she should not have blamed the others for their enthusiasm, for her other memories were strong and warm, and pulled her in with their comfy happiness. There was much love and happiness to be remembered, for it had truly been a time of peace once. It took only one single memory to sum up her life in the Silver Millennium, however -- one single moment to regret her decision tonight. Minako's body shivered as tears began to mix with the water of the shower.
"Kunzite…."
+++
The Senshi stayed only a short while after Minako had left. Alone, Rei walked the halls of the shrine, its quiet solitude seemingly doing its best to calm her worried mind. Minako was right. They had been treating their memories as if a new toy, but now, she was beginning to feel the weight of their decision. Things were, and no longer would be, the same. It was an arbitrary thing to say considering their line of work and all they had seen, but this was different. She felt an anomaly coming that even the Sailor Senshi, magical protectors of the Earth, would not be prepared to find.
With a frustrated sigh, Rei turned on her heels and headed back to the fire room. She needed to relax tonight, to let the answers come to her instead of seeking them out. As always, the doors opened for her and gratefully she removed her shoes and sat down, gathered her hands before her, and shut her deep cinnamon eyes in concentration. The fire was as it had been for generations, seemingly patiently watching her as it moved fluidly. She reached out to the power within, whispering the words as she had done countless times before. Then something unexpected occurred; the fire streamed away from her, its mass growing into an angry inferno of scarlet. It moved and twitched menacingly like a great surge of wind had whirled through it. Rei’s eyes opened and immediately she fell away, staring in shock at the spectacle before her. Her mind reeled painfully from the mental attack of the fire as she tried to connect with it. She tried to focus on the sight before her, and the flaming heat against her exposed skin. This was a different sensation than when she pressed its powers further, for it refused to connect on this occasion, rejecting her request, pushing her away savagely as if it were itself afraid. The fire would have its revenge for her intrusion it seemed, and leapt towards her feet in deadly digits.
"No…!" The fire recoiled at the strong tone in her grandfather’s voice as he miraculously appeared from no where, and the mysterious inferno promptly settled back into its quiet crackling at his command. He quickly gathered the fallen priestess up with a strength she thought he no longer possessed, and pushed her out of the room.
"Rei…!" her grandfather cried, gripping her shoulders. She gazed at his glaring eyes. "I felt the fire shake in my sleep. What happened?"
"Grandpa…the fire, it rejected me."
"Why would it do such a thing?"
She stared back into the silent room that gave the impression nothing had happened at all. "It didn't know who I was."
+++
"Perhaps this was a mistake."
The next morning, across town, the Outers hadn’t faired all that much better. They’d gathered at Setsuna's apartment, the powerful group huddled upon the emerald Senshi’s two fine couches. The group looked weary as if they had spent all night battling against a horde of evil villains, but really the excitement of their memories had made them instant insomniacs it seemed.
"Have your memories been particularly bad?" Hotaru asked.
"No, most have been all right so far, but, it's confusing," Haruka confessed. They had spent the night tossing and turning as each struggled with their restless minds. "Everything's coming together in jumbles. What do you remember most, Hotaru?"
"I-I’m sure what I remember," Hotaru sighed. “I remember a lake my parents once took me too, but I cannot remember their faces. Everything is still dark and hazy.”
"This will take a little getting used to, that's all. Already it's becoming easier to deal with these new memories. After all, this was meant to happen; regardless of the choices we were given. Mamoru-san was right about that," Michiru said.
"Last night was difficult, but I fear it will only get worse," Haruka warned.
"Yes, those lines defining our identities are slowly becoming blurred. What will happen to us when there is no distinction to be made, do you think?" Michiru questioned, knowing none of them had the answer.
"What about you, Setsuna? I noticed there was no one before you, like...like you had nothing to remember?" Haruka said.
"It is true. I have existed as one soul from the beginning of the Silver Millennium to now. I've wanted to tell you so many times, but I knew I had to wait for the right moment. Everything you are now recalling I have never really forgotten. The only time I forgot who I was at all, was when I stopped time to save Chibi-Usa and was reborn by Neo-Queen Serenity’s power."
"So, you made up this life here in Tokyo. You blended in with us when the time was right. It must have been lonely," Hotaru said as an after thought. Silence descended upon the group. Setsuna only smiled, extending her hand towards the teenager's glossy hair.
"Yes, such was my fate. But please, continue to call me Setsuna. It is how you know me now, and I am fond of it. My past name brings back too many things I would rather forget, as well."
"Well, enough of this," Haruka slapped her hands upon her lap and stood up. "I'm not going to let this control me for the next few weeks as I sit and mope around. I'm going to cook breakfast. What would you like?"
"The usual for me," Michiru said.
"I want pancakes, please," Hotaru smiled.
"And for you, Setsuna...?"
In her mind, the gray mist parted for the Senshi of time, revealing the stoic closed doors of Time. No longer did they bulge and shake as the timeline convulsed behind them. They had fallen silent. Changes had been made, repairs called forth, and now things were peaceful once more. Now they had but to wait, for now. Time, after all, was never really on their side.
"Setsuna…?" She turned her eyes towards them expectantly. "I think you should turn on the TV first."
+++
Mamoru hit the alarm clock angrily. He had no desire to wake this early, especially not after the events of last night. They had stayed up far into the night, and he had held her close as her shining eyes gazed at a candle upon their dresser. Its flame continued steadily until a gust of wind from the window swept over its small form. Mamoru felt the same way. His mind slowly taking in every memory until one strongly shook the foundations of his being with its potency.
It had been a hard night, but with a defeated sigh, he swung his legs over the side of the bed. There were no 'Sorry, but last night we received these ancient memories of our past where I was a prince and it was a little hard to deal with' excuses for the real world. He took only a few moments to attempt to steel himself for work and piece together the mask he wore for the rest of the world. He gazed upon the blonde laying beside him to give him the strength he needed. He inhaled deeply, and quietly began to get dressed.
He found the task a little difficult this morning, his hands still shaking due to the revelations of the previous night. Clumsily he fumbled one of his socks, and with a wry grin, blamed all those years spent near Usagi as an influence. Dropping upon his hands and knees, he searched for the runaway sock beneath the bed. Then his fingers made contact with something long forgotten, but immediately recognized. Slowly, he struggled to his feet, holding the wooden box usually light in his hands, but now heavy with memories and feelings. The souls of his old friends were locked inside-- friends that had betrayed him, but who he had forgotten altogether in return. He wondered what they would think of his decision last night. Dismissing his nine to five duties, Mamoru found himself recalling the forgotten and broken duties of the past, and with a sigh lifted the lid.
The flurry of lights and surprised calls were enough to wake the blonde from her fitful slumber. Usagi yawned and stretched wildly, slowly opening her eyes. The odd number of bodies in the room immediately caught her attention, and she blinked away her sleepiness in surprise.
"Eek…!" She yelled, pulling the sheets to her neck as she gazed in utter shock at those standing before her. "You…!"
