Sometimes, when people wake up in a
strange room, they do not immediately know where they are. They are surprised, even confused by their
unfamiliar surroundings. They sit up and try to remember where they were, how
they got here, and what happened before they went to sleep. More often than not, they are successful at
remembering, though sometimes they wished they hadn’t. Still, for a few moments, these people have
no recollection of whatever transpired the day before, and these moments are likely
the best they will experience for some time.
Minako did not get those few moments.
She woke up in the same position she'd
fallen asleep in, Alan's breath hot in her ear.
She tried not to inhale too deeply, though she didn't see how his
morning breath could do any serious damage to what promised to be a very bad
day. She began to sit up, trying not to
wake him up, but stopped suddenly when she felt an uncomfortable pain between
her legs. Tears pricked at her eyes
almost immediately as she began to wake up enough to fully appreciate what she
had done.
She'd slept with one of her best
friends. He happened to be married to
another of her best friends. And if
their marriage hadn't been ruined before, it certainly was now.
Before she could stop herself, she let
out a strangled sob. It was obviously
louder than she would have liked it to be, as Alan stirred at the sound. She'd thought that it would be best to leave
before he woke up. It was likely in very
bad form, but then having sex with him hadn't been the most polite thing to do
either. Now that he was waking up, Minako
felt no qualms about shoving his arm off of her and scrambling out of the
bed. She found her underwear and her
blouse on the floor almost immediately, but her bra was not within her field of
vision. That only made
her feel worse, so she moved faster to circumvent her emotion.
"Mina?" Alan mumbled sleepily,
groaning in pain. He was probably hung
over, but she couldn't help but be resentful of any indication that he was in
pain. She felt that she should at least
be allowed the monopoly on that, though she didn't deserve anything else. "Where are you--"
"Away," Minako answered, her
voice trembling and already on the verge of hysteria. Her underwear was on, but
she still couldn't remember where her bra was. She felt even more humiliated
and exposed just standing there, but the last thing she wanted to do was leave
it behind. She covered her chest with
her blouse and began to tear through the covers on the bed to locate it. "Away from you, from this flat from
this... bed, everything."
Alan looked at her for a moment before
holding up his hand. "Mina, calm
down."
"Calm down?" she said, nearly shouting. She mouthed at him for a moment before she managed to force out, "You want me to calm down?!"
"Yes," Alan said simply, his
tone infuriatingly rational.
Minako stared at him. She'd often felt that he unintentionally
flaunted his superiority when she was younger, though he hadn't done that at all during her present
trip, not that she could see. But she
felt like he was doing it now, though a part of her knew she was just upset and
irrational. Still she couldn't stop
herself from yelling at him. "Alan, we had sex!"
He swallowed, finally having the decency
to look guilty, dropping his gaze for a minute.
"I know," he whispered.
"And you're married! To Katarina-onee-sama!" Minako shouted desperately,
momentarily falling into the Japanese honorific. She couldn't say that it had been intentional
because she couldn't remember ever wanting to feel so nauseous before. She swallowed as a precaution before
continuing. "I slept with my best
friend's husband!" She shook her
head, turning back to the bed and tearing it apart as much as she could without
exposing any of Alan's body. She didn't
think she could handle seeing that. "I am the worst sort of woman
imaginable."
Alan looked pained at her insult, which
Minako would have found quite hilarious in any other circumstance. "Mina--"
"I am the worst of the worst sort
of woman," Minako went on, not paying Alan any attention. "I'm different from most
people. I'm... a soldier. I'm supposed to be this champion of love and
justice. I'm supposed to help
people. I'm supposed to do the right
thing. And... screwing you was not the right thing."
Alan seemed hurt by her words, though he
was also clearly frustrated with himself for taking what she was saying to
heart. "So you regret it?"
"No!" Minako shouted, throwing
the covers back down on the bed with one hand while clutching her breasts and
her shirt tightly with the other.
"No, I don't regret it! And I should, because what I did was wrong,
but I can't regret it because I wanted it! I wanted it even though I shouldn't
have, and even though I've hurt Katarina in the worst way possible, and where
the hell is my fucking bra?!"
Alan glanced around as she began to
completely break down, tears streaming down her face. He found it quickly, as it was on his side of
the room. He quickly handed it to her,
hoping that would soothe her a little.
All it really did was remind Minako of her humiliation and her
transgression against Katarina. She
whirled around, dropping her blouse and quickly attempting to put her bra back
on. But it kept getting twisted in her
haste and she couldn't find the hooks.
She began to sob even harder in frustration, stamping her foot like a
child.
She felt like a child. Only a child gave in to desires so
easily. Alan had been wrong about
her. She wasn't mature at all.
She heard Alan shift on the bed. "Do you want me to help you with--"
"No!" Minako shouted, and the
idea of him touching her again seemed to be enough to steady her hands. She was afraid of what would happen if he got
too close again. She sniffed and reached back down for her blouse. She didn't even pause to make sure the whole
thing was closed properly before heading for the bedroom door. "I'm leaving."
Unfortunately, she walked a bit too
briskly, and stopped to cry out in pain, bending at the waist. A few more tears fell out of her eyes as she
realized that ache wasn't about to go any time soon. As if she wasn't mortified enough.
She heard Alan get up and pull on a pair
of pants, rushing over to her.
"Mina, what is it?"
When he saw the look on her face, he seemed to understand, his face
going white. "I hurt you."
"Yes," Minako said, sounding
bitter, though not exactly angry at him.
After all, it was just as much her fault. There was no sense blaming him. "Don't feel bad. I'm told that... happens the first
time."
It was Alan's turn to look ill, as if
somehow this made him more aware of what they had done. "It was your..." He couldn't quite get the rest of the
sentence out.
"Yes," Minako repeated,
sniffling.
Alan looked back towards the bed. "But there's no--"
"Oh, honestly,
Alan. As
if that means anything anymore," Minako muttered, glancing down at her
blouse. The popped button was in quite
possibly the worst place imaginable - right at the center
of her cleavage. It puckered and exposed
her even more, making her wish that it was not the middle of summer so that she
could have brought a coat.
Alan swallowed hard, looking down at the
ground. "I'm sorry, I... God, I'm
so sorry."
"Don't be," Minako told him,
wiping furiously at her eyes. "It's
not entirely your fault. We were both complete
idiots." That said, she stalked into the living room carefully, not wanting to
aggravate any injuries unless she had to.
It was several moments before Alan
followed her into the living room.
"Mina, wait."
"No," Minako repeated gravely.
"How are you going to get back to
the hotel?" Alan asked. "I
should drive you--"
"I'll take the walk of shame, thank
you," Minako said, moving closer to the door. "At least until I can
hail a cab. I have enough money."
Alan sighed, coming to a halt in the
middle of the room. "Minako, you
didn't do anything wrong."
"Oh, I did plenty wrong,
Alan," Minako countered.
"You just did what felt
right!" Alan said. "You might
have made a mistake, but that doesn't mean you did something terribly
wrong!"
"I fail to see the distinction,"
Minako muttered, bending over and picking up her shoes and bag. "You know, back home, we're always going
on about following our hearts. Now I see why Ami and Mamoru use their
heads. The heart will lead you into the
bed of your sister's husband."
Alan looked up, sucking on his bottom
lip for a moment. "I meant what I
said, Mina." He waited, probably expecting her to pause, but he wasn't
rewarded. "About
ending it with Katarina."
"I hope you'll be happy,"
Minako said sincerely, genuinely hoping both of them could be happy after the
damage she had done. "But that
doesn't mean you'll get a repeat performance."
Now Alan was genuinely insulted. "God, Mina! That wasn't what I meant at all! I was just trying to--"
"What?" Minako interrupted, her voice still raw from her continued
crying. "Make me feel like less of
a whore?" She shook her head,
clutching at her purse. "Too late for that."
"You're not a whore!" Alan shouted.
Minako shook her head violently.
"How can you be so rational?! How
can you sit there and tell me that I'm not a horrible person after what we
did? We betrayed Katarina. You didn't even take your wedding ring off,
and you're standing there telling me that there's nothing wrong with us having
sex when--"
"It was a mistake!" Alan
reiterated, the volume of his voice rising.
"No," Minako hissed through
clenched teeth. "Breaking a window
is a mistake. Ruining a marriage... that's beyond the
pale."
Alan threw up his hands. "It was already ruined!" he
said. "You didn't do anything but
step on broken glass!"
"I should have tried to fix
it," Minako answered, her voice tight.
"But instead I made sure that it could never be mended."
Alan looked at her for a moment,
searching for something that could be said to make her feel better. Eventually, he realized that such words did
not exist. His lower lip jerked
sharply. "I just wanted to be
happy," Alan said softly, tears pooling at the corners of his eyes. "Is that such a bad thing?"
Minako looked at him for a long moment
before finally spitting out her answer.
"Yes."
Then she walked out the door, hoping she
would never have to walk back in again.
-----
After leaving Alan's flat, Minako had a
hell of a time hailing a cab. She’d
never been particularly skilled at it to begin with, and it was made worse by
the fact that she couldn’t seem to stop crying and thus could neither see nor
think straight. She eventually managed
it, and when she got back to the hotel, Minako could think of nothing else she
wanted to do but take an endless shower and crawl into bed.
Three days, seven showers, and some
fifty hours of sleep later, she was still miserable, still dirty, and still entirely unsure of what she was going to
do.
After all, she'd never paid attention to
how the other woman reacted in the movies she'd seen. She'd been far too busy hating her for
ruining everyone's life to connect with her emotionally. So, rather than try and puzzle it out for herself, Minako did absolutely nothing, wallowing in her
guilt.
She did occasionally consider going back
to Tokyo, but the thought of doing that seemed to be worse than any other idea she came up with during those three
days.
Minako didn’t know how she was going to
face any of the girls again after what she’d done. Not only had she ruined her friendship with
Alan and Katarina, but she also felt like she had done significant damage to
her relationships in Tokyo. She knew that
the others were going to be so disappointed in her. She didn’t want to face Ami’s embarrassment
for her, Rei’s anger, Makoto’s disapproval, and worst of all, Usagi’s
pity. She didn’t know how she was going
to be able to look them or anyone else in the eye ever again. It would just be hardest with them.
To make matters worse, Alan had been
calling a lot. Almost nonstop.
She'd made the mistake of answering the first time, hanging up before he
could get out three syllables. As a
result, she hadn't dared to answer the phone since then. She knew that Usagi and the others were
probably among the scads of calls she was getting. They were probably worried
sick about her, but Minako was too afraid that it was Alan, or worse, Katarina
on the other end. She couldn't handle
hearing their voices, not after what had happened.
It wasn’t that she had held herself up
to an impossible standard or that she didn’t expect herself to screw up from
time to time. Minako had never
considered herself a saint. She had done some pretty rotten things in her
time when it came to love. She had
two-timed, tried to sneak mutual crushes out from under Makoto's nose, and done
any amount of underhanded things for the sake of attachment. She was all but ruthless in the love
department, taking that adage she couldn’t repeat correctly about love and war
to heart.
But one thing she had always promised herself
she would never do was become involved with a man in a serious, committed relationship. Especially if he was
married. She had never wanted to
intentionally become the other woman. It
was destructive and malicious, and it went against everything she believed in
about true love.
She had broken that promise to
herself. She had done the worst thing
she could to two of the best people she had ever known. She'd sensed vulnerability and opportunity,
and she'd taken that opportunity even when she knew it was wrong. She had become the bad guy, the one person
she had never wanted to become.
The problem was that Minako didn't feel
hateful. She just felt like her heart
had been ripped out of her chest and replaced with lead.
Following that insight, Minako was
surprised to hear someone knocking at the door. She sat up in bed for a
moment, staring at the entryway in bemusement.
She'd left strict instructions with the desk to not send anyone up
unless she called for room service or fresh towels. They’d heard from her considerably more
concerning the latter than the former.
She couldn't think of any reason for anyone from the hotel to knock on
her door.
That left her with one possibility. "Alan," Minako muttered, narrowing
her gaze. She almost yelled for him to go away, but she decided that it was
probably best for her just to pretend that there was no one in the room. He might not actually believe it, but
hopefully he would take the hint and go back to his home. She stretched back out on her bed and waited
for him to leave.
He knocked again just as soon as she had
settled down against the pillows.
Naturally, this was a bit more forceful
than the first time. Once again, Minako
gave no indication that anyone was there.
She merely rolled over, turning her back to the front of her room. She curled up into a ball and whispered,
"I'm not home."
A full five minutes of this passed. Alan seemed to be waiting every few seconds
to knock, increasing his intensity each time.
Finally, Minako became convinced that he was actually kicking the
door. His stubborn streak was kicking
in, and it seemed that he would stop at nothing in order to see her.
Rather than have to pay the hotel any
damages, Minako jumped out of bed and stalked to the door, fully prepared to
let him have it for bothering her and send him back to his wife. She would simultaneously be attempting not to
go on another crying jag or be sick all over the place, so she wasn't quite
sure how successful she would be.
Minako grabbed hold of the doorknob and
undid the various and sundry locks on her door, trying to keep her hands from
shaking. She sighed and pulled it open,
glaring, "All right! What do you--"
It was at that moment that Minako
realized that there was one other person who knew where she was staying, and
that person was in an infinitely worse position than Alan was.
"Katarina," Minako forced out,
hoping she didn't sound as guilty and panicked as she felt.
"What took you so long?"
Katarina asked, putting a hand on her hip.
"I..." Minako started, staring
at Katarina like she was looking into the headlights of an oncoming car. "Sorry.
I was sleeping."
Katarina frowned, looking Minako up and
down. "In the
middle of the day? Are you sick?"
Minako wanted to say that she wasn't just
sick, she was a vile excuse for a human being, but she decided that it wouldn't
be appropriate. After a moment, Minako nodded,
trying to force herself to look away from Katarina but still finding herself unable to.
"I think so."
Now worried about her, Katarina pushed
her way into the hotel room, the back of her hand flush against Minako's
forehead. "Well, sweetie, why
didn't you call me and let me know?"
Minako had thought that she couldn't
possibly feel any guiltier about what had happened with Alan. She had even
hoped that she couldn’t feel guiltier about it because she was quite sure that any more of it would crush her like paper.
Unfortunately, having
Katarina fret over her like a truly caring friend did manage to make Minako
feel worse, though it didn’t crush her quite as literally as she’d thought. She felt tears sting at her
eyes, but she fought them back desperately. The last thing she needed was for
Katarina to see and ask her why she was crying. Minako was afraid that in a
moment of hysteria she might actually tell her what happened, and Minako didn’t
want to hurt Katarina that way.
Admittedly, Minako had been foolishly
hoping that she would never have to actually face Katarina or Alan after what
had happened. Of course, that would have
been more effective if she had left Paris and gone back to Tokyo or moved on to
some other French or English speaking country, but she had retained that dream
nonetheless. Now that Katarina was
there, Minako knew that Katarina could never know what had happened under her
own roof. If her marriage was indeed
over, Minako didn’t want Katarina to know that she had played any part in
it. Minako didn’t want that on her
friend’s mind, and selfishly, Minako didn’t want to lose her as a friend. Surely she’d be able to look at her without
crying eventually.
Thankfully, Katarina seemed to be paying
more attention to her possible fever than Minako's eyes so it was of no
consequence. "You've been busy, and
I didn't want to bother you," Minako murmured after a moment.
"Alan could have helped,"
Katarina offered.
Minako closed her eyes, sniffing. "No, actually. I don't think he could have."
Katarina considered this for a moment
before chuckling. "You're
right. He is rather helpless at taking care of other people, isn't he?" Before Minako could answer, Katarina moved her hand, smoothing Minako's bangs down. "Well, I don't think you have a fever at any rate.
Did you have a stomach bug?"
"I haven't had enough of an
appetite for that," Minako admitted truthfully. She swallowed, wanting nothing more than to make Katarina go away. Perhaps Minako would be able to be around her
at some point, but she couldn't possibly face Katarina then or any other time
in the near future. Her stomach was in
knots and she didn’t know how she had been able to keep herself from crying for
that long without Katarina noticing. She
chewed her lip for a moment and said, "But you never know, I could still
be contagious. You should
probably--"
"Go? Oh, don't be ridiculous," Katarina interrupted
smoothly. "You know my immune system. I haven't been sick since I was in primary school."
"Is that right?" Minako said
uncomfortably.
"Yes, I'm the... picture of
health," Katarina said, hesitating for a moment.
Minako knew exactly why she had
paused. She clenched her fists at her
sides, wanting to say something to comfort her friend but remaining
silent. After all, she wasn’t even
supposed to know about what had happened with the baby or that Alan and
Katarina were having any real problems.
Besides, Katarina would not have wanted her comfort if she knew the
truth.
"Well, I bet I know what's wrong
with you," Katarina continued, her tone considerably brighter. Minako noticed that her smile was a bit
strained and that her crow’s feet seemed more pronounced than the last time she
had seen Katarina. "I wouldn't have
an appetite either with nothing but room service to choose from. Why don't we go out for a bit?"
Minako shook her head adamantly. She would have rather faced another
apocalypse than an outing with Katarina.
"I really don't think that's a good idea."
Katarina looked sad, reaching forward
and grabbing Minako's wrists. The
younger girl was slightly surprised that the touch didn’t burn her flesh. "Oh, but this is my first day off in
what feels like ages! And I've been
missing you, terribly."
Minako looked down at the ground, taking
deep breaths to relieve the pain in her chest. "I've missed you
too," she whispered truthfully, wanting nothing more than to throw her
arms around Katarina and cry like a baby.
"Well, that’s it's settled
then," Katarina said cheerfully.
"You get changed and then we'll go out and get some real food in
you. And maybe we'll do some window shopping
as well. I'm sure Alan hasn't shown you
anything that exciting."
Minako winced involuntarily, but
Katarina didn't see as she turned Minako around, pushing her in the direction
of her wardrobe. Minako quickly realized
that she had absolutely no choice in what was going to happen. Like it or not, she was about to spend the
afternoon with the woman she had betrayed.
She almost wondered if things could get
worse, but she stopped herself just in time. The events that worsened such
situations always coincided with such thoughts.
Minako didn't think she could handle anything else without completely
breaking down.
-----
Some time later, Minako and Katarina
were sitting at one of Paris's small, corner cafés. Even though part of
the reason to get Minako out was to make her eat, she still didn't have an
appetite, so she declined anything more than water. Thankfully, it didn't stop Katarina from
eating, and she didn’t scold Minako about it for very long.
"You know," Katarina began
after they had been sitting in somewhat awkward silence for a time. "I really can't thank you enough for
getting Alan off of the sofa lately."
Minako clenched her first beneath the
table, trying very hard not to wince.
She wanted to look up and see if Katarina could tell that her heart was
racing, threatening to break right out of her chest.
Katarina didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary, apparently
too busy pushing her food around her plate.
"I... don't think it's anything you need to be thanking me
for."
"No, really," Katarina
insisted. "He's been absolutely
insufferable recently. I mean, you know
how moody he can be." Katarina
gestured at Minako with her free hand, prompting her for an answer.
"I have some idea," Minako
said quietly, shifting in her seat.
"He's always been that way, but
it's been worse since..." Katarina started to say something, but trailed
off into silence quickly. Minako almost
wished that Katarina would tell her about the miscarriage because then at least
she would have an excuse for her gloominess.
But a moment or two passed without Katarina admitting to that part of
her history. She shook her head and
said, "I don't know. It feels like
forever now. I know that my getting
transferred here made the situation worse."
Minako nodded, drumming her fingers on
her kneecaps. In any other situation on
any other day, Minako would have been able to at least attempt to cheerfully
turn the conversation in another direction.
However, she couldn’t even muster up the energy or the courage for a
fake smile. She couldn’t handle that
complex a charade. Not while she was
feeling like this.
Katarina sighed, furrowing her
brow. "I suppose it's partly my own
fault. I accepted it without even
speaking to him about it. I just...
thought we could use the change."
She frowned, leaning on her palm.
"I suppose all I really did was make
things worse." She glanced up at
Minako, smiling grimly. "I'm sure
you've noticed that things have been strained."
Minako had absolutely no idea what to
say to that that wouldn't result in her crumbling. So she took a long
sip of her water and shrugged her shoulders, hoping that would be enough.
"That's been going on for some time
now," Katarina admitted, tucking some stray locks of hair behind her ear.
"I started working more, seeing Alan less, and... Well, I haven't been wanting
to see Alan much to be honest."
Minako winced and wrapped an arm around
her stomach.
Again, Katarina didn't seem to
notice. "I'm sorry to bring all of
this up now. It's just... Well, we had a
terrible row the other night. I walked
out. Came back the next
day, but even so. I'm... thinking
that maybe it's time to throw in the towel."
"On your
marriage?" Minako asked, her mouth working
against her other instincts. She was the
last person Katarina should be speaking to about this, but she didn’t know how
to impart that without revealing what had happened. So she could do nothing but try and act
normally.
Katarina nodded sadly. "I know.
I'm horrible, aren't I? He just
needs more of my attention, but... I don't really want to give it to him."
Minako's eyes softened, her fingers
playing with the hem of her skirt. She
couldn’t help but be a little frustrated with Katarina now that she was hearing
all of this, but mostly she just felt sorry for the whole lot of them. Katarina wanted nothing to do with Alan, Alan
just wanted attention from his wife, and when that failed, he’d turned to
Minako, the girl who had loved him and given up her life in London just so he
could be with Katarina in the first place.
She thought that Shakespeare would probably very much enjoy watching
this tragedy if he were able to.
"Do you need anything from
him?" Minako asked.
Katarina seemed surprised by this
question, as if she had never before considered it. After a moment, she said,
"You know, I used to look forward to seeing him every day. He could be so
funny and charming. And
sweet. People used to be jealous
of me because I had such an adoring husband, but now... Now I'm the one jealous
of all the other couples." She
paused, licking her lips. "I used to
need that from him. The
levity and the attention. But now
he isn't happy and he doesn't seem to notice much, if anything."
Minako couldn’t help but think that he
might be happier if Katarina made the effort. She chewed on the inside of her
cheek and said, “Have you tried talking to him about it? Or maybe... getting help?”
Katarina scoffed. “Marriage counselors.
What do they know? I’m the one
that’s in the marriage.”
“Are you?” Minako asked, slightly
horrified at what she was saying. “Are
either of you in it anymore?”
Katarina looked at her, surprised at the
accusation. Then her face relaxed and
she let out a quiet sigh. “I suppose we
aren’t. We’re just... living under the
same roof and there’s a piece of paper that says we’re husband and wife. But that doesn’t make us married, does it?”
Minako looked up, her eyes bright with
sincerity. A part of her thought that
she should just keep quiet, but she didn’t seem to be able to do that anymore.
“Katarina, I want you and Alan to be
happy. More than
anything. I know that you two were
so desperately in love before. I could
tell when I was thirteen, for crying out loud!
When I was a... child.” Minako’s voice broke oddly, but she cleared
her throat directly afterwards to mask the fact that she was feeling
overwhelmed. “I don’t want to believe
that you’ve become... disinterested in him.
I don’t want to believe that you can be this apathetic.”
Katarina stared at Minako now, her gaze
alarmingly calm. A moment passed in
silence before Katarina said, “Something happened, Minako. Something that I... don’t
want to talk about.”
Minako nodded in understanding,
prompting Katarina to continue.
“It ruined everything,” Katarina
said. “It completely destroyed us. He couldn’t handle it, and I... disagreed
with him on how I was taking it. It’s
just got worse over time, and since we’ve been here, it’s become clear that
there’s nothing to be done about it.”
Minako couldn’t help but be alarmed at
how completely detached Katarina sounded.
She had been speaking in the same matter-of-fact tone all afternoon, but
Minako was just beginning to notice how emotionless it sounded. It was like her friend had completely severed
herself from emotion in order to cope.
It scared her.
"So you’re just going to give up like
there's no hope?" Minako asked, feeling absolutely wretched.
Katarina glanced down. "I'm not sure I care enough to find out
if there is."
Minako openly gaped at Katarina, and in
that moment, a lot of her anger about what had happened dissolved away. She felt intense sympathy for Alan. She couldn’t imagine how it must have felt to
have his wife act like a distant acquaintance, if that. Especially considering how affectionate and
kind both of them had been before any of this had happened.
And she felt the same for Katarina as
well. The woman had always been so self-sufficient, so collected, so completely under control, and all of those attributes had conspired to harm her.
She had lost a child and now she was losing her marriage, but for the
sake of seeming strong, she refused to acknowledge that it upset her.
Minako had taken it for granted that
Alan and Katarina would always be together.
Now she could see that there was no way their relationship could
survive. And whether or not the
information of Minako and Alan’s tryst came out, nothing was going to change. The
three of them were never going to be the same again.
“Excuse me,” Minako whispered suddenly,
pushing her chair back.
Katarina looked up, a little startled by
the movement. “Aren’t you feeling well?”
“I’m fine,” Minako lied, struggling to
keep her voice steady. “The water
just... runs right through me.”
With that, Minako got to her feet and
walked inside the café to locate the bathroom. She walked towards the back and
was relieved to find that it would only house one person. She stepped in, locked the door behind her,
and immediately dropped to the ground, feeling that her legs could not hold her
up anymore. She covered her mouth immediately
to muffle the sound of her crying.
She mourned on that bathroom floor for
what must have been ten minutes before
Katarina came to find her. She mourned the death of a marriage, the
death of a baby, and the death of three friendships she had played a hand in
destroying.
-----
Afterwards, Katarina didn’t believe that
Minako was in good health and all but dragged Minako back into the apartment in hopes of cheering her up
or curing her or something along those lines.
Minako had tried to convince her that she was fine or that she should at
least be left alone at her hotel, but Katarina seemed to think that being alone
was the last thing Minako needed at that moment. While that might have been
true, Katarina’s flat was the last place Minako needed to be. And Alan was the last person she needed to
talk to.
Minako didn't know how she kept herself
from being violently ill as she crossed the threshold, but she managed it
somehow. She locked her elbows to keep
her arms and hands from shaking, straining to remain steady on her feet. She also kept her mouth closed just in case.
"Alan!” Katarina
called out, attempting to induce some warmth into the announcement and failing. “We're home!"
He sat up from his usual position on the
couch, confused by her use of the word 'we.' His eyes widened in shock when
they focused on Minako. She didn't know
if it was because he hadn't expected to see her again or because he'd wanted to
see her again. She didn't want to know.
"I'm going to go see if we have
anything to settle your stomach," Katarina said kindly, not noticing or perhaps subconsciously ignoring the tension in the
room. "I'll be back in a moment. Don't get into trouble while I'm gone!"
she joked.
Neither Alan nor Minako turned to watch
Katarina leave the room, far too absorbed with studying the other party. Minako’s stomach was doing its usual
flip-flopping at the sight of him, though it wasn’t nearly as pleasant as she
recalled. Minako noticed that Alan was
letting his beard grow back in, and she was quite sure that he hadn’t moved from
the couch for quite some time. She also
thought that he looked very tired and very sad.
And while looking at him did make her more sympathetic, it also brought
back the anger she had pushed aside over lunch with Katarina.
“You’re sick?” he asked, somewhat
awkwardly.
“You’re surprised at that?” she
countered, her voice tight.
He glanced down, swallowing. "I didn’t think you would come back
after--"
"I didn't have a choice,"
Minako hissed, feeling a little panicky.
"And keep your voice down if you insist on talking about
this."
Alan pulled himself up from the couch
and walked over to her. "Mina, I've
been calling you."
"I know," Minako replied. "I almost disconnected the phone
yesterday."
"I was worried!" Alan
whispered loudly, his eyes wide.
Minako knew that he was telling the
truth, but she couldn't bring herself to apologize. "I didn't want to talk to you, I didn't want to talk
to anyone! I thought it was you at the
door when Katarina knocked."
"I thought about it, but I assumed
you'd throw me out," Alan said.
"I would have," Minako
responded, her voice trembling.
"Alan, I have never felt so badly about anything in my life.”
Alan sighed and ran a hand through his
unwashed hair. “How do you think I
feel?”
“I think you’re accustomed to misery,”
Minako spat, dabbing at her eyes in frustration. “And I think you still
don’t understand what we’ve done. I’m
not sure you ever will.”
Alan was about to respond, perhaps try
and soothe her again, when they suddenly heard an outraged scream in the bedroom.
They both turned in the direction of the cry, fervently hoping that the
cause was a dead rat.
They weren't that lucky. Katarina emerged from the bedroom moments
later, absolutely white with rage. She
held out something in her outstretched hand and spat, "Alan, what the hell
is this?"
It took Minako a minute to realize what
it was, but judging by the look on Alan's face, he knew right off. She had to squint for a minute, but it
eventually dawned on her.
It was a torn open condom wrapper.
"You’d better have a bloody good
explanation for this," Katarina said, her voice shaking with anger.
And for the third time in Minako's life,
her heart came to a complete stop.
Coming
Soon - Part Seven: Les Vies Brisées
