|
Review by Loki |
2009-07-03
|
What a fascinating concept! I love the original flavor of this ficlet, and yes, you ought to consider continuing this. :)
I loved the interaction between the characters, Minako's flight out of Mamoru's apartment and her encore for the sandals was hilarious. I thought the cats curling up together was so cute and I loved the dialogue.
I only found a couple of things you might like to think about, grammar/punctuation, mostly pretty good, but for misuse of (?!) a few people pair these off, but this is technically incorrect usage, it is up to you if you decide to correct this as it would improve your writing technique. That aside, Michiru is spelled as I put it here, a minor thing. Aside from these little points, this was an acceptional piece of classic Sailor Moon magic.
Great imagery, humor par excellence, touching moments and brilliant originality and your vocab is superb, great work and hope to see more of you!
five stars!
|
Author's response:
Thank you very much for the concrit! I was so embarrassed to realize somehow a misspelled Michiru had escaped both me and my beta. Thank so much for pointing that out!
And really, again, thanks for the concrit! It's nice to hear what people think can be improved upon as well as what they liked. I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
|
|
