Review by Loki |
2006-08-20
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I am most intrigued by this offering
Firstly, I noticed a few minor flaws, typos here and there, the odd grammar issue, but over-all it was very good, I would suggest expanding vocabulary in descriptive dialogue be careful of repetition with words -- I noticed this especially at the beginning. The only thing that bugged me was the _Alright_ this is a short-hand that is most annoying and the correct form is, all right.
Pluses:
Your characters have a fe... (more) |
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