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Review by Loki |
2006-08-20
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I am most intrigued by this offering
Firstly, I noticed a few minor flaws, typos here and there, the odd grammar issue, but over-all it was very good, I would suggest expanding vocabulary in descriptive dialogue be careful of repetition with words -- I noticed this especially at the beginning. The only thing that bugged me was the _Alright_ this is a short-hand that is most annoying and the correct form is, all right.
Pluses:
Your characters have a few interesting features that remind me of Inuyasha, and Lydia is like Raven from Teen Titans in so much as she seems reclusive and mysterious. I like the fantasy genre you bring to this narrative and your style is quite good. I would suggest a little more character exploration in your first chapter, but you definitely succeeded in capturing my attention and I will be keen to see where you take this story. *hands you a crystal sword and bows* L.
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