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Reviews on Hands Fall Together by Kihin Ranno
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Review by serentiymoon |
2009-06-22
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Oh Wow you have finally updated and I am so excited. That sounds slightly pathetic but your story is extremely original and well written. I think one of the things I love abut your story is the fact that it is more adult. It isn't these little teenagers going around being bubbly and happy all the time, the story is basically about a war and you portray that very well. There is the chance of death of injury, and lots of pain. Usagi is more mature and so are the other girls, the stakes are simply some much higher and it makes the story more realistic.
This update is wonderful and advances both the Sailor V story line and the Usagi Mamoru relationship. Thank you and continue to update as often as you can!
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Review by grimorie |
2009-05-03
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I think I've reviewed this on your FF.Net account but I re-read this story again and I'm just so taken with the scale. I also love the examination of what could have been and the difference Usagi makes.
I also love the glimpse of Minako we get, I love the ruthlessness and the practicality and that scene with Jadaite? Awe.Some. I'm really so glad I stumbled into your work because I never thought there was another Sailor Moon writer out there who writes a Minako that's as awesome as I think Minako is.
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Review by serentiymoon |
2008-03-26
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Oh my gosh! I love your story. Please keep going. i really hope you bring jupiter in so she's my favorite. also I'm really hoping that your going with Mamoru and Usagi having feelings for each other before they discover their past selves. But other than those few hopes and comment really great story.
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Author's response:
Makoto was in there for a second. ^_~ But don't worry, it's almost time for her to come along. And I must say, I'm very much looking forward to it. :D Actually, I'm really excited about the next three chapters, particularly 11 and 12, which will deviate from the formula a little bit.
Thank you very much for reviewing. ^_^ I'm hoping to have another chapter up in about a month. Keep a look out!
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Review by stawr |
2007-10-27
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You need to like...finish this. Update it or something! I've reread all the chapters like 10 times now...
A little obsessive, ^^;; But I haven't read such great fan fiction since like....
well, since forever really. Especially after ASMR went down. =/
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Author's response:
Almost done with the next chapter. :D Just about to write Yet Another Epic Battle.
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Review by aishuu |
2006-12-09
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Absolutely love this. It's a great "AU" that shows how "oh shit" things could get if Usagi wasn't at the center of the senshi. I love the characterization of Ami, Rei and Mamoru - the dynamics are great. Really looking forward to the next part.
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Author's response:
Heh. I love that. How "oh shit" things can get. XD Nice.
I'm happy to hear you're enjoying the characterization. Both of my betas had problems with Ami and Rei this chapter, and it's nice to hear that some people are okay with it. ^^;; Thank you for reviewing!
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Review by waterflu |
2006-12-06
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I read all seven chapters of your story in one night...
It's so rare to see Mamoru actually interactuating with Ami and Rei, but I really liked the way you've characterized them all. Your writing gives the characters a very human-like quality. While Mamoru can be a little too bold sometimes and Rei a little too bitchy, it's really nice to see them acting like real persons instead of the more plain and more predictable anime versions of themselves.
You've based almost everything on the anime, right? I noticed that almost instantly when I reached the part where it's mentioned that Kunzite and Zoisite are lovers. I was like OMG! First, because I don't like the couple that much and second, because I found myself really curious about how that was going to be connected to the past life. I'm happy it looks like you aren't going to ignore the relation between Mamoru and the Shitennou, like the anime did.
I liked a lot the short-lived relationship between Tetis and Jadeite. It was nice watching Jadeite show some emotions besides anger, specially at the end, when he 'sent Mamoru back to her'.
Oh, and I loved the little sightings of Minako we've had until now. I am dying to see her meeting with the others! But I guess I have to wait until Makoto shows up first. And I have to mention that you've done a great job keeping Usagi out of the spotlight until now. Nevertheless, I hope she and Mamoru get to be civil towards each other sometime soon.
I'll wait for the next installment of HFT with dying curiosity, until next chapter!
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Author's response:
Seriously? One sitting? Are you all right? My God, that must have been exhausting. O.o
That's part of the reason why I like this story as much as I do. Mamoru is so often just sort of an accessory to Usagi. You see him have conversations with Ami and Rei in the anime a couple times, you really only see him get choked by Makoto that one time, and he never speaks with Minako EVER. Not in any of the canon versions do they interact, and it really irritates me.
I think at present, both Rei and Mamoru are pretty dangerous characters. Mamoru because he is continally putting himself in peril for the girls' sake when they are actually more capable, and Rei because of how volatile she is. She didn't want to do this, but she knows she has no choice, and she is really unhappy about it. She's still in the process of adjusting, so of course she's going to lash out.
Yup, it's an anime fic. They only thing I've really lifted from the manga that could not have existed in the manga is the soul stone bit. I'm actually not sure if the anime didn't address it or if that just wasn't canon for the anime. Either way, that's one of the few things I don't like about season one because that's really what makes the Shitennou so interesting to so many people.
More people should write Tetis/Jadeite. Just as fun as Rei/Jadeite in my opinion.
You'll be seeing Minako again shortly, but you're going to have to wait to see Makoto again for a little while longer. As you saw earlier, she's in the process of moving and that's taking up a lot of her time. ^_^ But be on the lookout for cameos by both girls in upcoming chapters.
I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed it! I hope that doesn't change.
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Review by Dave Ziegler |
2006-06-06
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The concept for 'Hands Fall Together' is great. It's good old school fan fiction - the classic 'what if' story. And through the first five chapters, I think you've done an excellent job of creating an authentic scenario in which Usagi is not present to so easily bind everyone together.
The hardship, drama, and grit are wonderful. It makes for a moody, darker, more violent Sailor Moon that provides great opportunity to explore slightly different aspects of everyone's favorite characters, and you take full advantage of it. Mamoru, Ami, Rei, and Usagi are just excellently portrayed. I fully enjoy every moment they're on screen, so to speak. Luna's a harder personality than I expected, and am rather interested to see where you take that in future installments.
Many kudos as well for not retreading the same monster-of-the-week attacks as from the TV series. Your new ones have been inventive and exciting. Well done.
I find the numerous scenes given over to getting to know the vicitms-of-the-week and the dysfunctional dark kingdom family dynamics to really slow the story down. I understand, or at least this is how it feels to me, that you're attempting to humanize the victims so that we, the readers, feel more at their deaths, but I really think we don't need to know them for that to happen, and can simply experience that same reaction that Mamoru, Ami, and Rei experience in chapter five when exposed to the Dark Kingdom's killing spree. This is escpecially true if the death and carnage are revealed to us through the eyes of our central characters, as opposed to in their own scenes. As for the Dark Kingdom, I find their scenes of bickering, backstabbing, and sex to somewhat rob of them of their menace and credibility. Again, I understand it's to make them less two dimensional villians, etc. but they just seem to lose out on the scare factor the more we get to know them. The revelations of their plots/plans ahead of time also lessen their impact when they occur. So, perhaps try to reign these scenes in. It'll help heighten the fear factor/tension, and keep from disrupting the pace.
Each of the chapters have several spelling errors, incorrect word placement, and sentences that do not make sense. It's nothing supremely drastic, for the most part, but a lot of instances of 'was' being where 'would' should be and vice versa. It's enough, though, so that it distracts from the reading at times. They are very sizable chapters, so you may want to give them an extra few edits before release next time. I'd be happy to help if you like.
Go Ami for standing on her own in chapter five! Though, I was a little disappointed she didn't get to take Tetis out by zapping her with a crash cart or something, but I'm sure she'll come into her own and feel more comfortable using her smarts during battle in future installments.
Anyway, just a wonderful job overall, Kihin. I highly look forward to reading more as it's released.
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Author's response:
Hoorah lengthy review!
Luna is harder, and that's a conscious decision. She's going to soften up a bit more now that we're not relying on TK as much, but she's still going to be more prickley than you remember. It's the price to pay for not having Sailor Moon around as she can zap just about anything without too much effort, but the others have no one to rely on.
Hmm... You know, if you would be willing to give it a last read through, that would be fantastic. I have Yumeko beta-ing now, but as you say, it's very hard to catch everything, and having more than one pair of eyes to look at it couldn't hurt anything. If you're really interested, feel free to PM or e-mail.
That said, I have a feeling that the scenes with the Tokyoians might get phased out over time as the other girls get featured more prominently. I don't think there are any in chapter six...
Though there are lots of Dark Kingdom scenes, and if I'm taking the scare out of them for you, then I'm doing my job. ^.~ The Shitennou have a bigger role to play, and it is necessary to see them a lot for later plots, so bear with me. There is going to be less talking ABOUT the plots, as I find those scenes tedious to write anyway, and the plans are going to get less complex, so they won't need all the exposition.
As for Ami, while she's coming into her own and realizes that she can now be helpful on an offensive attack, it would never occur to her that she has the capacity to kill... yet. ^.~
Thanks for the review!
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Review by feifu |
2006-01-17
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I just finished reading Part1, and wow... talk about an AU that actually works and is intriguing to boot! I like it! Hope the next chapters are as good as part 1 ^_^
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Author's response:
I hope they were too! ^_^ Glad you liked it. Thanks for commenting!
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